disarray

The end of the beginning and the beginning of the end

  I was thinking of how warm and cosy the sun feels on my face and body, as Lex rolled over and Kissed my cheek. " Silvia, why did you leave me all alone?" " Oh Lex, I felt like it was the right thing to do. My mother lied she said everything would be great and better. She said she would bring me back to visit you. She didn't even let me contact anyone. I wish I could change everything go back to you and my Daddy. Everything was so right until she changed everything. I love you and miss......     

   "Silvie! Silvie! Wake up! Silvie! " my mother said in her pseudo-sweet voice. "Ah! Help! Ah! Help Me!!" I screamed.  " Silvia? Are you OK? Silvia? Give her 50 more cc's she is having another delusion"  

My body goes numb again and the warmth takes over. "Wait I'm OK I'm just looking for my shoes! I cant find....... my shoes. Crocodile man have you seen my red balloon i need  it for when the king gets here. He is taking me to the ball to meet the Salamander Slime show purple dragon eater. Do you know this man? He walks on his head shoveling shadows into the pit. Do we feel this bad alone? How do I see all these shadows? Back to sleep again. I can't try not to sleep. 

I wished I could tell you that it was true that I was back with my dear father and into the loving arms of my wonderful friend Lex. But this was untrue. What can tell you other than me having spastic fits and being put under ? Nothing, when they put me under is when I am happy I can dream of my life being happy instead of the misery of reality. I tried to explain to the doctors but it was too late they were all under my Mother's spell. They did not believe me but why should they. Who does and who will so this is my way. Sick and twisted as it is. This is my beginning.  Welcome, maybe they will let me share pictures.