♡ we'll try again ♡ [joshler]

8:love?

Trigger warning????

I look down to see a small spot of blood on the floor. The blood dropped from my finger to the floor slowly. I did simple cuts some times. I did them on my fingers just so it wasn't obvious.

It hurt, yes but I want to feel. In this state I'm always calm but I'm truly holding back crying and not just any crying the worst kind of crying. The one that made it hurt worse.

Josh.

No, he had nothing to do with this but at the same time he did.
I look at the razor in my hand. What if? If I was gone would he care? I miss him so much.

Tears start pouring down my face. I wiped at my eyes trying to stop the crying but it only got worse.
I'm just lonely. I don't need him. I don't love him. He is NOTHING TO ME.

I started losing air. I had to gasp for air and I closed my eyes. My cheek burned.
It hurts. Why does it hurt.
I NEED him. I WANT him.
I love him?