♡ we'll try again ♡ [joshler]

20:I will not kiss you.

It was night. Josh was sound a sleep on a small chair next to the bed.
He had a blanket wrapped around him and in his hand a pen.

Not just any pen, my pen.
The pen he gave me 3 year ago. The one I use to write my songs and that only.
I only used it once when he gave it to me In class then years later,now, I started using it.

Surprisingly to me, it still worked. Even after 3 years of being in a drawer.

It made me smile, but you could tell he had been crying but at this moment he was calm.

----

My eyes opened this time the room was bright like it usually was when I woke up in hospital.
Josh hated when end up here.

This just happens to be the first time I was here because I attempted suicide.
Most of the time it was from me not eating.

Josh walked out of the bathroom.
Suprised to see me awake.

"Tyler!" He smiles brightly at me.

I looked down in disappointment. I was worthless.

He walked over to my side hugging me tightly.
His face touched mine. He began to cry, as a little tear went down his cheek onto mine.

He pulled away, whipping his cheeks with the backs of his hands.

"Ty, please never do that again. I'm not even suppose to be here they would Kill me if they found out." He frowned.

"W-what do you mean?" I quietly said.

"It's nothing, ty" he sat back in the chair, looking down at his lap.

"Josh, no. I'm gonna be honest here and if you're not okay with this then that's fine" I whispered a little trying to be quiet.

"You're the reason I'm in here"
He looked at me straight in the eyes as I started to cry.

"The hardest part of this is leaving you." It became hard to talk, choking on the air that was suppose to help me live.

"T-tyler" he began crying with me.

I wanna kiss him. Make it all feel better but how?

"I will not kiss you" I whispered to myself.