somnium

twenty-one.

That evening, she turned out the lights and got into bed. Laying down and stretching her legs out, she was surprised to bump into something.

Startled, she sat up.

"Good evening," Piper heard Fear say.

"Fear?" she said, incredulous. "I didn't even have to..."

"Call for me. Yes, true." He shrugged. "I felt like getting here early for once."

"Oh. Ok." She leaned back against the headboard. In the darkness, she couldn't see Fear, but she pictured him sitting at the opposite end of the bed, probably cross-legged, definitely relaxed. He seemed to have let more of his guard down in the most recent times he'd visited her, leaning back and adopting an air of nonchalance that made him appear at ease.

Then again, perhaps he always moved like that, as though it didn't take any effort at all...as if moving were easy.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked her. She could hear amusement in his voice.

She blushed deep red, glad that the lights were out and he couldn't see her face. She'd forgotten that her thoughts weren't exactly hidden to him. "N-nothing," she stuttered. "It wasn't important."

She felt the bed creak as he shifted slightly.

She wondered if she should just ask him. She wanted so badly to know...and he knew everything about her, after all. Nothing about her was really secret from him.

"Fear?" she asked him.

"Hmm?" he responded, as if he'd been waiting for her to question him...perhaps he had even expected it.

"You...you know everything there is to know about me but I...I don't know anything about you. I was just wondering if you might...I don't know..."

She lapsed into silence then, embarrassed for asking. Fear was silent. She could almost hear him mulling it over in her mind. He was probably getting ready to deny her the request for information. She could just picture what he was thinking right now...Nosy girl, who does she think she is? She thought, her internal voice trying to copy the way Fear's voice sounded when he was exasperated.

"Alright," he said, suddenly, surprising her. His voice was quiet. "What do you want to know?"

"Where were you from...before?"

"London," he stated, sounding rather brisk in Piper's opinion.

She nodded. She could have guessed; his accent was British, after all. "Did you have...family?"

She could almost hear him frowning, just in his voice when he finally responded. "Technically, everyone has a family. Whether or not they act like a family, however..."

There was an uncomfortable silence. Piper felt almost bad for making him talk about his past. Clearly, something about it upset him. "I'm sorry..." she began.

"It's fine," he interrupted her. "Anyways...I had my dad. He was great, really. My mum left before I was even old enough to remember much about her. Didn't really have anyone else. Didn't really need anyone else." He was back to sounding nonchalant and unbothered.

She still felt bad for pressing him. "I really am sorry," she repeated. "I feel bad for asking."

"Don't worry about it," he said. "It is only fair, I suppose, that you're curious."

"Did you have a name back then?" she said. "I mean, something other than 'Fear'?"

The silence this time was even longer than before.

Finally, he sighed, standing up from the bed as if preparing to leave. "I...did...a long time ago," he finally said, his back to her, the profile of his face barely visible in the dim light that came in the window from the streetlamps outside. He straightened. "But that was then and this is now. As I told you when we first met, I haven't been called anything other than 'Fear' for years."

"It's ok," she said. "You don't have to tell me. I'm sorry for bothering you."

Fear laughed slightly. "Piper, you don't need to apologize to me."

"I can't help it," she said. "I always worry that I've said the wrong thing or done the wrong thing...I'm always apologizing." She watched as he turned to face her, standing by the door.

"Alright then," he said. "Then apologize to me all you want. But I will always assure you that you don't bother me."

She held eye contact for a few moments longer than she usually did with anyone. "Really?" she finally said.

He nodded, hand on the knob now. "Really."

Then he left. Piper stared at the door for a few moments, before finally laying down and allowing herself to drift off to sleep.