So sorry guys! I keep promising to finish this story before I fall off the face of the planet but I'm never able to keep that promise. I hope this upload will make up for it. I think the next part will be the last upload for this story. I still haven't decided who Meena will end up with but I have an idea. However, I want to consider who you guys want Meena to end up with too. So for the final time, TEAM ROD or TEAM RY?
What do you do when you lose yourself? How do you live? What is there to live for?
That is the question I asked myself as I lay on my bed, depressed and defeated. Ryker made up half of me, Roderick made up the other half. In a matter of hours, minutes, seconds... I lost both the halves of me.
After Ry ran out on me that fateful day, Rod has been too busy with his Alpha duties to even bother with me. I'm sure he's happy for the distraction. Lord knows I'd be better off with some type of distraction to keep my mind off my misery.
Every day I see Ry in town with a girl hanging onto his arm and laughing flirtatiously. He seems to take the whole promise to live up to his reputation thing very seriously. Each and every time I see the scene, a part of my heart dies. Now, I feel empty.
I asked myself constantly if it was worth it. I felt love once, love for two of the amazing boys in my life. But just as easily, I lost them. So was it worth it to feel love if I was destined to lose it and suffer.
I can't even enjoy the fact that the mating ceremony is coming up soon. I want to skip out on it more than anything, but my mom won't let me. She showed sympathy the first few days but now she's trying to make me get over it. She wants me to be in the right mind set for the mating ceremony that's going to happen in a few days. I appeased her by picking a white dress that I thought would look nice.
Not that it matters anymore. Nothing matters anymore after losing my best friends.
I know I'm being overly emotional, but aren't I entitled to that given what happened? Besides, girls have the reputation of being emotional all the time anyways.
I wish I had made my mind up earlier. Now that I know who I want to be my mate, it seems like I should've felt this way the whole time. It's always been him. And for some reason, I feel like he will end up my mate. It's a feeling I have, and had I felt this sooner, maybe a lot of heartbreak could've been avoided.
"Meena Woodrow, get your butt off the bed and let's get your hair cut," my mom ordered. I grab a strand of hair that I feel hasn't been washed in while and sigh.
"Mom, it's fine," I told her.
She shook her head and goes over to me to pull me up on my feet. "I'm done with this moping Meena. You'll see that you're acting stupid when you meet your mate and suddenly everything is right in the world."
"How could you say that?" I demanded, snatching my hand from my mom's grip. "Rod and Ry won't talk to me anymore. They absolutely hate me!"
Suddenly, my mom looked very sad. She looked older. "Meena, baby." There are tears in her eyes and I regret yelling at her. It's not her fault. It's not anyone's fault. Sometimes things just happen.
"Meena, honey, you haven't lost them," she assured me. "Those boys are your best friends and all of you need each other. Right now, feelings are just running high from the mating ceremony coming up, but once it's over with and everyone is paired with their mate, things will be okay. You'll see. They'll just love you the same in the end, if not more."
I really wanted to believe my mom. I did. She's so wise and I can always trust her judgment. But at this moment, my feelings are making me doubt every word she's saying.
"When you lose what's important to you, what do you do?" I asked.
She forced a smile on her face. "Your dad was my world," she told me.
She hasn't talked about my dad in awhile. I lost him while I was still very young, and I know my mom was devastated when she lost him. He was, after all, her mate. He was supposed to spend the rest of his life with her. But his life was unfortunately cut short. I always wondered how my mom was able to handle it. I just lost two guys I loved, but I wasn't mated to them yet. I couldn't imagine how I would feel if I lost a mate.
"I didn't think I was going to end up with your dad, did you know that? I actually had a boyfriend before the mating and I was prepared to spend the rest of my life with him. Your dad wasn't from my pack. He had actually just been visiting. He didn't have any luck at his old pack's mating ceremony so he came to mine."
I smiled. My mom looked so happy as she recounted the details of her own mating ceremony.
"I hated your dad," she shared. "He wasn't mean or anything, but he kept flirting with me in front of my boyfriend and my boyfriend and I would get into fights because of it. We almost broke up right before the mating ceremony. But luckily we didn't. At least I thought it was a good thing back then. On the day of the mating ceremony, he proposed to me. He said he knew that we would end up being mates, and I thought so too so I agreed. So I was engaged going into the mating ceremony to a guy who wasn't your father."
My mom laughed but then a tear slid down her cheek. "Well let me tell you something, Meena. There's something magical about the full moon and the mating ceremony. It makes bonds. If you loved someone before, you were obsessed with them afterwards. If you weren't sure of your love before the ceremony, there was something that made you knew for certain afterwards. That's what happened for me. My old boyfriend, right when the ceremony started, bolted off in a different direction. Of course I was confused, but for some reason I wasn't hurt. My body knew all along that there was someone out there for me. That was your father. Imagine my surprise when I found it was the outsider wolf. But there's this warmth that fills you, Meena. Love is an understatement."
Suddenly, my mom is crying uncontrollably and hiccuping. It makes me cry with her.
"Meena, your dad will forever be the love of my life. No matter what man is in my life, your dad is it. I am able to live without him because I know he would be devastated if I gave up my life for him. That's not something a mate would want for the other. Meena, I know you're sad now, but let me tell you something, no matter who you choose, you will still have both of the boys at the end. In the end, there will be no hard feelings, let me assure you that."
I hugged my mom tightly because I needed to. I needed her strength. I knew she was right. Somehow me and the boys would work through this. If I end up with one of them, the other would be okay with it. If I don't end up with either of them, then they will still love me the same at the end. I knew that everything was going to be okay. I just had to wait for the magic of the full moon to happen. Only a couple of days left and I would no longer be feeling all this sadness.
I get up and get ready to go get my hair cut. I am determined to be ready for my special day coming up. On that day, my life will have purpose again. I realized I haven't lost anything yet because technically I haven't even found my mate yet.
Roderick, Ryker... We'll be okay. I know it.
Soo???
Sorry again for the long ass delay, guys.
Like I said, next chapter will be the last installment.
Hope you guys enjoy :)
