letters to him [nh]

november 3rd

dear niall,

 i'm steaming mad. i'm mad at you. you and your douche bag friends.

incase you dont remember, heres what happened: i was walking home because my incredibly old and unstable car is in the shop, and all of the sudden, I see another car appear (your car) on the street I was walking down, and you are driving it. then, your dumb ass friends roll the windows down and start pelting me with eggs. fucking eggs. i hear their gorilla laughs, then tires squeak as you drive away. just like that.

sorry that the ink is getting smudged, im crying. how could you do that to me? i thought you were nice. i thought you were different.

i absolutely hate myself for loving you. i hate that even after you ruined my hair that took me an hour to curl (to impress you) and the outfit that took me just as long to pick out (yet again, to impress you), i would do it again in a heartbeat. just to get your attention.

and as i sit in my bed, tears streaming down my face, i pray to god that you feel bad for what you did, or at least think of me.

i will keep loving you, though, no matter what you do to me. maybe that's the problem.

- alaska, the girl who is hopelessly in love with you even though you treat her like shit.