letters to him [nh]

november 15th

dear niall,

there you go again, giving me another reason to fall more and more in love with you.
so today is monday (i should start putting times and the name of the week in these from now on) and you called me at around 2 PM yesterday telling me to get dressed in something cute and comfy. i of course did what you told me. i wore a really casual outfit, which surprised me considering i was going to be hanging out with you, but after i got dressed i did my usual makeup and threw my hair up in a messy bun.
you pulled up maybe 10 minutes later in your car and texted me that you were here. my parents are gone on a business trip so i didnt have to sneak out the window this time.
i quickly stuffed my bag with a 20 dollar bill and a pack of gum (i dont know why) and was running down the steps to go meet you. once i locked the house up, i look to the left to see you standing outside your car and damn. you looked so fucking good. you had on a jean vest with a white t-shirt and light jeans and holy mother of god you're so good looking. your hair was styled perfectly and all i wanted was to run my fingers through it all day.
"hello love" you said and greeted me with your usual breath taking smile.
"hi ni" i said smiling back, and your smile got bigger when i called you that.
you gave me a lingering kiss on the cheek then opened my car door before walking over to your side of the car.
"where are we going?" i asked, smiling when arctic monkeys started playing.
"thats for me to know and you to find out babe" ugh you and your adorable nicknames will be the death of me.
we drove for about 15 minutes before we reached a forest.
"you arent going to kill me, right?" i said smirking at you.
"if i was going to kill you dont you think i would've done it a long time ago?" you said before getting out of your car and going to the trunk.
i got out too, and once i got to the back of your car, i saw you holding a pink and blue quilt with a picnic basket.
"let me help you" i said before grabbing the picnic basket out of your hands. you immediately grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers which was my intention of grabbing the picnic basket in the first place.
"this place is so nice" i said smiling and looking around at the lushfull forest.
we walked on this dirt path that lead into the forest for about 10 minutes. the whole time we were walking you told me stories about the times you spent in the place we were walking to when you were little. im so honored that you brought me to one of your favorite places as a little kid.
once we reached the specific part of the woods, i could feel my mouth fall open. it was a huge meadow, filled with beautiful, vivid flowers of all different shades. purples, yellows, oranges, and pinks everywhere.
"holy shit" i said looking at you. you were already looking at me with a bright smile on your face, and adoration in your eyes. it made my heart do backflips and made me want to throw up butterflies.
"do you like it?" you looked around, squeezing my hand.
"i love it" I squeezed his hand back,  and he smiled at me before leading me into the field of flowers.
"i used to sneak out here all the time when i was younger" you said again while setting down the picnic basket and laying the quilt out on the ground.
"its beautiful" i said smiling. it hit me then, that after 5 years of trying, youre finally here on a date with me. it completely baffles my mind.
"i didnt know what you liked on your sandwich so i just brought the toppings in bags" you said opening the picnic basket you had and pulling out little packets of mustard, and mayo, and bags of lettuce, tomato, ham, and turkey.
"i hope this is okay" you asked nervously, and your cheeks became tinted pink. it was adorable.
"no its not okay" i said jokingly. you looked up abruptly at me, terrified.
"oh fuck. im so sorry-" i cut you off.
"its not okay because its perfect. it's absolutely perfect." i smiled at you and you smiled back and it was like the whole world had stopped turning and it was just focused on you and i, in this moment. (a/n THAT WAS FUCKING CHEESY AS FUCK IM SORRY)
you blushed, then asked what i liked on my sandwiches.
you silently made mine, with the most adorable small smile on your face.
"there you go m'lady" you said, bowing your head to give me the sandwich.
i laughed and took it from your hands after saying thank you.
we then ate our sandwiches in a comfortable silence. just soaking each others company up.
"wanna play 20 questions?" you asked with an excited grin on your face. of course i said yes.
we played that till the sun went down. (we asked well over 20 questions) we told each other stories from our childhood, stories of dumb dares we've done. we told each other everything.
it was about 7 o'clock when i started to fall so much harder than i already thought i had.
i was laying with my head on your chest, your arms wrapped around me like a blanket while we stared at the stars.
"i hate that i cant do this in public" you said while playing with my hair.
"it'll be okay" i said turning my head towards you.
"i dont know. it feels like my dad's gonna rule my life forever" you said turning your body, now hugging me.
"i dont think he will ni. you'll be eighteen soon and you can move out and do whatever you want." i heard you sigh from the crook of my neck.
"he wants me to work for his business" i didnt know what to say after that.
"have you ever thought about talking to him about just taking a year off, then dropping contact with him" i ran my fingers through your hair, knowing that it would sooth you, even though what i said was fucking stupid.
"ive thought about a million different things i can do. the only thing i can think of actually doing that would work is running away" you then looked up at me and my heart stopped from how beautiful you looked.
"ni you cant run away. we'll work through this. i know that they dont know im in this equation but im going to help you. running away wont really solve anything, i think you should talk to them, and if things go bad ill step in. that was probably a stupid idea but-" then you cut me off by kissing me.
niall fucking horan- my crush since the 7th grade- was kissing me. NIALL HORAN WAS KISSING ME. YOU. THE MOST PERFECT HUMAN BEING WERE KISSING ME. THE LOSER. HOW IS THIS HAPPENING.
after not kissing back from how fucking shocked that the love of my fucking life since i was 12 was actually kissing me (something i've only imagined happening in my dreams), you pulled away and leaned up.
"im so sorry, i didnt me-" then i kissed you. and it was the best fucking first (or technically second) kiss anyone could ever dream of.
you were shocked at first, then kissed me back. your hands rested on my neck and my cheek, pulling me in closer.
your lips felt like fire and as cheesy as it sounds, made my entire body tingle.
my two hands were on your cheeks as i kissed you with so much passion. you smiled into the kiss, which made my heart leap up into my throat and made butterflies burst into my stomach, then you leaned over and on top of me as the kiss deepened.
i tugged at the back of your hair on your neck and you groaned a little in my mouth, making me smile.
we kissed for god knows how long, before we pulled away, completely out of breath.
"finally" you said while giving me the biggest smile ive ever seen.
i smiled back, blushing, and you kissed my cheek, pecked my lips, then stood up.
"we better get you home love" you said while reaching both of your hands down to me to help me up.
i smiled up at you then put my hands into yours, and you tugged, pulling me up with a struggle.
you threw your head back laughing, as you let me go again, me laughing as hard as you.
"im sorry babe" you said giggling more, before actually grabbing my hands and pulling me up.
you placed a soft kiss on my lips before leaning down to grab the blanket, and the picnic basket, before grabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers.
"i dont think i can ever thank you enough for today ni" i said once we got in the car.
you reached over, grabbed my hand, kissed the back of it, then held it.
"you dont need to thank me. its my pleasure to take you out. you deserve it." i then smiled at you, blushing, then looked out the window.
we pulled up to my house in (it felt like) no time.
you opened your door and ran over to my side of the car and opened mine.
"thanks" i said slightly laughing at how ridiculous you looked running back and forth.
"no problem" you said back with a break taking smile. what did i do to deserve you?
i got out of the car and you walked me to my door.
"thank you again for tonight ni." i said reaching my arms around your neck.
"dont mention it. i love being with you" you said blushing and smiling, making me love you even more.
"do you want to come in? my parents are away on a business trip for a few days" i said hopefully.
"sure" you say shrugging.
i nod, taking the keys out of my shoulder bag, and unlocking the door, then opening it.
"what do your parents do?" you asked once the door closed and we were up in my room.
"they work for some bank. they have to go out of town sometimes to check on their company's other banks in the U.S" i said lying down next to you on the bed.
"that sounds nice. how long have they been together?" you said, beginning to play with my hair.
"around 18 years. they were married for a year before they had me." i said turning on my side to face you.
"do you want kids?" you asked out of the blue.
"ya actually, how about you?" you slightly smiled, which sent my heart flying.
"ya. it sounds girly but i have the names picked out and everything." your face turned a slight pink.
"i think thats adorable. guys usually dont even think about that stuff. its kind of incredible."
you then shocked me by leaning down to kiss me. our lips molded perfectly for a few seconds before you pulled away.
"sorry that was really cliche" you say laughing.

we didnt really do anything else. i put in a movie and we watched it until we fell asleep. neither of us cared that it was a sunday. we slept in each others arms until 1 PM on monday (today).
"babe i have to go" you said after 30 minutes of laying in each others company.
"nooooo" i said rolling over to go on top of you.
"as much as i love this position, i really need to go. my parents loose their shit when i ditch." i pecked you once before getting up.
"ill see you tomorrow okay? do you wanna hang out after school on wednesday?" you asked after putting your shoes on.
"sure, my parents get back on friday so that'll work"
you reached for my hand and we walked down the steps inside my house.
you pulled me in and gave me a tight hug.
"youre the only thing thats getting me through this whole thing with my dad, you know that right?" you ask, nuzzling your head in my neck.
"we're gonna get through this ni"
"i know princess" i heard the smile in your voice.
"princess? i like that" i said pulling away from the tight hug.
you grabbed my face in your hands and kissed me. it was a little bit over the edge of making out, but i feel like we're trying not to take things too fast. it was hard not to just jump on you and let you do things that would send us to hell.
we kissed for a few more seconds, before you pulled away and rested your forehead against mine, breathing heavy.
"ill see you tomorrow lasky" you said with a cheeky grin, kissing my cheek, then walking out of the door.

thank you for making the past two days the best days of my entire 17 years of life. i love you.

-alaska, the girl who loves you and might actually have a chance with you after all.