1000 Paper Cranes

Chapter 42 - 2

School became unbearable as prom neared. Talks of dresses and tuxes and flowers and parties filled the hallways. I couldn't escape the chatter in the library or in chemistry or anywhere.

It was difficult not to be bitter. I had made a promise to myself to take Robin to prom; that was the crane I would never be able to fulfill.

I tried not to hold any of it against my friends, but it was hard. I wanted them to be happy, but not in front of me.

So I hid myself away, enslaving myself to studying for finals and putting on the front that when classes resumed on Monday, I'd still be a part of the student body. There was no way Principal Ammerman was going to let me stay in school.

I couldn't shake the fear of being arrested and having charges pressed against me. I deserved whatever I got. And even then, I'd lived through the worst thing I could have possibly imagined and survived. I could survive this. It was just going to suck.

And that was the phrase that was going to define my senior year, after all. It was just going to suck.

"Are you ready for your debut tonight?" Joanna smiled, sitting down beside me in the library.

Jonathan and Joanna had been my steadfast companions every day as I hid in the library. They tried not to parade the relationship around in front of me. They were my friends and my support system. During those lunches they were the only people I needed. They really were the best.

"That's tonight?" Jonathan asked, feigning ignorance. Joanna cut him a glare, unamused.

If I was being honest with myself, they were adorable. They were intuitive with each other. Maybe that's what happened when people who had been friends for so long started dating.

"You better be there!" Joanna demanded, playfully. "Jordan is going to be amazing."

I wasn't so sure I'd be amazing. But Joanna and I had been working for a long time. Well, a few weeks. But it was the most grueling physical labor I had ever been put through. And Ms. Gates had worked me hard; I had never worked so hard in my entire life. I couldn't understand what Joanna liked about dancing. It was awful. Or maybe I was just awful.

"You're not awful," Joanna had laughed the night before as we left dress rehearsal for the recital. There had been glitter and ribbon and tulle everywhere. The wings had reeked of hairspray and sweat. I was grateful to only be in one number, to only have one costume. And by costume, I mean a white shirt and black pants.

"Are all the guys coming?" Joanna asked Jon, leaning in close. "To come watch your beautiful girlfriend dance?"

The baseball team, without the help of star senior pitcher Jonathan Johnson, had lost in the first round of the playoffs, so practices were finally over. Oddly, nobody seemed upset. They were all ready for a few afternoons of freedom.

"You know that nothing is different, right?" Jon laughed, shaking his head. "They all still hate you as much as I do."

Even I laughed at this.

The rest of the day went by smoothly. It was Friday. It was the last Friday before the end of the lives we had known. That weekend, my friends were going to go to prom and have the times of their lives. Then school would start on Monday and, with it, bring exams and final projects and the final stretch to graduation. And my confession.

When I got home from my session with Dr. Berger, Mom and Dad were already home, balloons and cupcakes in the kitchen.

"What on earth is this?" I shook my head as I entered the kitchen. "You guys are crazy."