Crazy In Love With You || (n.j.)

~11~

A few weeks after our trip, I was on my laptop, scrolling through Clique, a social media sight I've been on since I was fifteen. Nick had convinced me to make a profile.

I began to see messages, to me, that weren't the best. I was being called names, told how disgusting I was. One post caught my eye in particular. I really did not to believe that it was true.

ashy_543: Nick told me the first time they slept together it was absolutely awful. And that's why he's been avoiding it.

Ashley. One of my best friends. Her and Reese were the only I told about our first time. Now everyone knew. The entire internet. And I had no idea how to make it go away. Lots of people had already commented on it, and they were all nasty things toward me.

I stared at the words, taking deep breaths. I've been cyber bullied before, but not in a long time. Tears began to form in my eyes as I started to type a response.

drEY_092: yeah okay

I closed the laptop before I saw what was typed next. I didn't want to look at it. As I was walking out of my room Nick came in the direction I was leaving. He stopped me, and I jerked away from his touch. He looked into my eyes with a pathetic look and I only gave him a disgusted look. I kept on walking, grabbing my car keys off the counter. Nick bought me a car for an early eighteenth birthday present, and I love it. I went out to my car, trying to unlock it, but I heard Nick's voice.

"Audrey, what's up? Why are you leaving?"

"Don't touch me." I hissed, tears spilling from my eyes as I got in the car, slamming the door. I peeled out of the driveway, not knowing where I was going to go. I found myself drive passed my mother's house, and she was out on the lawn, mowing it. I slowed down for only a second, but sped back up as she started to look in my direction. My phone began ringing, and it was Nick calling me. I only turned up the radio, tears pouring down my face.

I put the car in park when I reached a peaceful spot to sit. I sat in my car, turning the radio off, and enjoying the silence. To think that I was so happy only hours ago, and now I just want to leave this earth. I chose to listen to one of his voicemails.

"Audrey, where are you? Joe and I are coming to look for you. We're all worried about why you suddenly left. I hope you're okay." The call was disconnected, and I felt so hurt. Ashley wouldn't just say something like that out of the blue, would she? I sat in the car, closing my eyes and leaning back against the headrest.

I saw in my rearview mirror, Nick's vehicle approaching me. I locked all my doors and only sat there, breathing steadily. Tapping on my window startled me, and I looked to see my best friend at the window. I started to cry again, and shook my head. I could hear him, though his voice was muffled, begging for me to come out of the car and talk to him.

"What do you want? Aren't I just too horrible for you to be around?" I sniffled as I got out, leaning against the car.

"Sweetheart, what are you talking about? Why would you ever think that?"

"I saw what Ashley said on Clique. How you complained to her that the our first time was just so awful for you."

"You really believe that?" I could tell part of him wasn't telling the complete truth. There's something he wasn't telling me.

"Don't you dare lie to me Nick."

"I didn't necessarily tell her what she said. I may have-"

"You just flat out lied to me Nick! Oh my God I cannot believe you." I said, angry tears burning my cheeks. I began to sob, and I looked to the ground. He was silent, so I broke it. I climbed into my car, starting it. And he didn't try to stop me as I drove home.

When I got home, I went into the basement and buried myself under covers on the couch, turning on a stupid movie. I hardly watched it as I sobbed, alone. I felt someone sit next to me, and could just tell that it was Denise. So many thoughts were flooding my mind. Wether they were good or bad.

"How are you doing honey?" She put her hand on my upper arm, rubbing it gently. I looked at her through tear blurred vision, and I choked out a sob. She pulled me in for a hug.

"I don't want to be here." I took in a sharp breath, pulling from her embrace.

"Now, Audrey, remember what you told me? If you left this earth before Nick, he'd be an absolute wreck without you. Both of us know that. I'm here to tell you how it is. Nick is up there, wondering where he went wrong. I wasn't told what happened, but he isn't happy with himself right now. Do you want to tell me what this is all about?"

Did I really? I sighed and let my shoulders slump a bit.

"My friend, Ashley, she said online that Nick told her something. About the first time we slept together. That it was so awful, and that's why he's been avoiding anything like that with me. He didn't totally deny it when I told him either," I got hysterical once more, falling into the back of the couch. Denise pressed her lips together before kissing my forehead.

"Is there something wrong with me?" I choked out, looking off at the paused television.

"Absolutely not sweetie. I'll let you have time to yourself, okay? And if Nick wants to come down here, that's his own accord. Okay?" I only nodded and she quietly got up, leaving me with my thoughts. I laid back down and curled up under the blanket.

"Audrey," My best friend's voice softly said to me, and I felt him sit next to me, putting his arm around my body. I didn't budge.

"Please don't hate me, but I'm going to tell you what happened. Ashley and I were talking, and she mentioned you had told her, and we began sort of getting on the topic. I did not tell her what she said online, that she twisted herself. I didn't know any of this would happen, and I know how hard you take these kind of things."

"Really, you know?" I took the covers off the top part of my body, glaring at him.

"Nick Jonas never got picked on a day in his life because he was always up there with the popular kids, and don't you deny it. Nick Jonas never had to deal with cyberbullying, never had to wonder if his parents loved him. And I'm damn sure that you've never hated your life so much that you wanted to end it. Am I about right there?" He gave me a silent nod, and I saw him swallow.

By now, tears were flooding down my face, and I was sure I wasn't going to be able to cry ever again. He had no idea how much it hurt. He's been my best friend my entire life, and I never fully opened up to him until now.