We Must Reinvent Love -Ryan Ross Fan Fiction

Behind the trigger

"This is you, this is all you. You're fucking poison" I pointed at Matty in enraged, reaching down to grab Bliss's limp body. She was soaked to the bone, her dark hair looked as if it had been greased back, probably from all the times Matty had stroked her head. I laid her onto the bed, her damp body sinking into the crumpled sheets.

"Fuck, Bliss why? Why have you done this?" I paced hysterically, grabbing loose stands of my hair. I had no idea what to do in this kind of situation, it was more morbid than anything I'd ever seen. I started giving her chest compressions, all they did was shook her rigid body. Each pump made her appear more lifeless and fragile.

"Ryan! Is she there? Is she okay?" My mom seemed to be getting closer. I choked on my words I'd never been much good at lying, I was silent.

"She's fine Mrs. Ross, give us a second please" Rose was suddenly behind me. She straddled Bliss and stuck her fingers down her throat.

"What are you doing?! Get off her" I grabbed her wrist and tried to pull her backwards.

"Ryan, she needs this I promise you" Rose looked me dead in the eye. I loosened my grip on her wrists figuring she must have known more than I did. She pushed her fingers down Bliss's throat again and used her free hand to push the middle of her stomach. Just watching was making me gag.

"Oh god, what have I let happen to her " tears began to roll down my cheeks as I stifled my sighs.

All of a sudden I heard a loud gagging, Bliss' body began to convulse. A lumpy liquid began to fall from her thin lips. Rose jumped off her body and rested her hand behind Bliss' head. Her eyes were yet to open and the only sounds she made were wretches. I was expecting her to regurgitate all the badness, including the last few months of her life. Throw up every pill she ever took, every memory she had with Matty and come back to me. I wanted her to wake up and be glad to see me. To my surprise none of this occurred, instead she lay as limp as before, liquid running down her neck.

"Ryan get an ambulance! Call 911" the urgency in Rose's voice panicked me, she was tea felt calm like a nurse.

"Matty where is your the phone?" I swung the bathroom door open to find he had remained in a ball in the bathtub.

"Where's the phone? Where's my mind? Where's my drugs?" The last question he rhetorically asked sparked happiness back into his eyes. He scrambled out of the bath, weighed down by his sopping, dress shirt and trousers. He pushed past me almost crawling across the floor as he fell with every step.

"You're really looking for your fucking drugs! She needs help now!" I pushed his skinny frame onto the floor.

"Help! That's what I'm gonna give her! Drugs fix everything I'll take them and she'll be fine she'll be fine won't- she?" The last word broke Matty's streak of madness. He stopped creating lines on his dresser whilst pleading with me. He sunk to floor in a hysterical sob and lay his head next to the bag of Coke. All of a sudden his eyes widened.

"Mate, fucking hell mate, tell me I'm wrong.." His head lifted and he took a step towards me.

"What do you mean? You are wrong in every sense"

"No, no, no ,no... Look!" He grabbed the bag filled with white powder and shook it infront of my face. The corner of the clear pocket had a red sticker adorned with a Black K.

"A, K! I've been giving her fucking ketamine" Matty knelt in the sea of white powder, pulling his eyelids downwards in disbelief.

"Where did you get Ket from? I thought you stopped using this!" The severity of the situation had sunk in. Ketamine was a serious drug, just like Coke it was class A. As dangerous as Coke may be even drug users feared ketamine more. Ketamine had the ability to drop you into a, what they call 'K-Hole'. A drug induced coma which leaves your brain functioning asif it were awake and your body paralysed. You could be screaming from the inside but still on the surface. A coma could lasts a few hours or never end.

"A runner dropped it off earlier, they were meant to bring Coke..." Matty stood to his feet and walked to his safe. A minute later he reappeared with a loaded revolver. This was all my fault, I was the runner, I had killed Bliss.

"When I find him, I'll kill him."