We Must Reinvent Love -Ryan Ross Fan Fiction

When you wake

Rose's POV:
There was only room in the air ambulance for family members, they barely let Ryan ride with her. So I stayed here, I didn't have the heart to tell Ryan that I didn't have cab fare to get to the hospital. So I sat on the edge of Matty's bed, smoking a cigarette and rubbing my fingers against the mouthpiece. I had a sudden wave of sickness rush over me as I realised I shouldn't be smoking while pregnant. It was habit is gotten into, when I was stressed I sparked a cig.

"Rose, I'm going out of my mind! How could one of those fucking runners bring me ket?!" Matty was in serious despair, this wasn't the first time I'd seen him like this so I wasn't particularly worried.

"Matty it's nothing to do with the runner, or the Ket, it's the guilt. Just face it you feel bad" I remarked as I opened the window, I needed rid of the smell of smoke as my guilt lingered in the air. It may seem as if I'm being unnecessarily harsh but I was too accustomed to hearing Matty blame the world for every mistake he made.

"Ofcourse I feel bad but that's not the fucking point! Someone is responsible" this boy was the king of denial. He said taking short drags of his cigarette.

"Yes! You... Techinically you spoon fed the girl ket but don't have the balls to admit it, you never fucking have done" I snapped as I threw the cigarettes onto his bed.

"Oh so this is about you now, Rose! I never held you down and forced you to snort anything darling, I don't recall you kicking and screaming!" His body language was of utter defence, he spoke using angry hand gestures. As much as I wanted to scream back at him I couldn't bring myself to, my inside felt as if they were rearranging. I fell backwards into the chair by the window exhaustedly. You win Matty.

"I'm gonna find this fucking kid and I'm gonna kill him" He reached upwards to run a hand through his hair and a glint of metal shone around his waistline. At first I thought it was a belt but it stood out far more than his rusty buckle. It was gleaming, new, unused, a gun. He reached for his phone, I quickly realised he would be attempting to enquire which runner brought the drugs up. If he found out Ryan was responsible he would certainly get some use of that gun. He's the most irrational person I know and Ryan is oddly the most, well the best person I've met. The only man who hasn't taken advantage of me or spoke to me like I'm worthless. Okay, he did call me psycho but I found it to be more a nickname than a derogatory term. I had to stop Matty from finding out true truth.

"There's something you need to know.."

"Not now, darling" he breathed almost softly in exhaustion, he sounded like my Matty used to. As he spoke he searched his contacts for George's number.

"Matty, stop!... I'm pregnant" Even my jaw dropped open as I said it out loud, sober, it all suddenly became real. But nether the less it made Matty drop his phone onto the bed, walk to my side of the bed and rest his head on top of mine.

"Fuck me Rose, what are we going to do?" He whispered rhetorically, as he stroked my hair from above. I rested my face into his cold abdomen, what were we going to do?

Ryan's POV:
I was anxious to carry on living and anxious to die. I didn't want to carry on knowing I'd done this to Bliss and I didn't want to die at the end of some waste of space's gun. My mouth went through intervals of becoming unbearably dry, like I'd just smoked a joint. My mom must have thought I was mad the amount of time I went to the water dispenser, I think Bliss's current situation helped me look inconspicuous. Carol spent the whole time making phone calls, writing down details and making more phone calls. I didn't dare enquire, I didn't want to know the truth. I didn't want to hear that Bliss had to leave us.

We were in a shitty little waiting area, the scent of dead skin on the linoleum floor was overpowering. The waiting room was filled with the oddest people. An Elvis impersonator with a broken nose, a bride with a bloody arm and an alcoholic asleep along three seats. I hated hospitals. They reminded me of the scum that raised me for the first half of my life. My deadbeat father who spent his time drinking himself into a grave and planned on taking my mom with him with every punch. I was too young to know how wrong it was and how to stop it. So I watched, I watched everyday until I was about 12. That was the day I could never forget, any memory of that day I pushed out of my mind the second if entered. Today of all days was not the day I needed suicidal tendencies.

The nurses had checked her and she was apparently stable. My mom was currently in with her, crying over her, brushing hair from her face, the usual mourning stuff. Although Bliss wasn't actually dead it felt like it. She was out cold still, but she was on her way to coming round. The doctor was yet to see her but we hoped he had more to tell us about her condition. I'd seen people overdosed before but come around. She was such a tiny person and who knows the amount she had taken.

"Son! Son! Come quick" I heard my mom stammer from behind the glass pane. I rose to my feet quicker than a zombie rising from the dead and that's exactly how I felt.

Her still body became animated in the slightest way. Her hand began to squeeze my moms and her chest began rising faster than before. Spluttering and choking her body jolted until her eyes began to twitch under her kids.

"M-m-mom" she managed to make out.

"I'm here sweetie I'm here" my mom gripped her hand tightly.

"I had the weirdest dream" she croaked before coughing "I lived in some fancy house, with some fancy family and I met the most exciting man, I think I loved him" she almost laughed.

"Shh, sweetie we can talk about him later." My mom looked up at me sheepishly and squeezed her hand.

"Mom, it felt so re- wait you aren't my mom?!" Her breathing became frantic and her speech erratic. As she opened her glazed eyes.

"Who the fuck are you? Where am I?" She pulled herself upwards and yanked at the wire implanted into her vein.

"Fuck, ow. Help me!" She began to scream and struggle as my mom hit the panic button. A doctor we'd been waiting to see all day ran through the door. He heard her screaming from down the hall.

"It's as I suspected, she suffering from severe amnesia" he shook his head and held his temple in distress.

"Amnesia? I'm not fucking crazy. Why am I'm the hospital? Did my mom have another episode?" She was like a frightened child, tears streamed down her face and her bottom lip quivered. She looked through me and my mom like we were invisible. That was when I realised she was a frightened child, if she believed she was still living with her mom she'd have to think she was still twelve year old Bliss. When I said it was like she was dead I was right, my Bliss was dead.

Heyyyy sorry for the late update! Hope you enjoyed, please go read my two new 'Love in a Lapdance' chapters!

Also I'd love to start writing one shots just for fun when I have writers block for my main fics. If you have any requests message me or comment and I'll get em written up!!