by your side [daveed diggs]

18

Adelaide

ATHONY: hey, we have this dinner next weekend, and i was wondering if you want to go with me, as a date i mean?

I read the message twice to make sure I read right before I actually replied

yeah, daveed already told me about it actually and I would love to go with you.

I pursed my lips waiting for a response from him. I was sitting on the couch while the TV was playing an episode of Supernatural. I bit my lip when he texted me back.

ANTHONY: great! I'll text you details on friday

I bit my lip and looked up from my phone after locking it. It was the weekend and Daphne decide that to watch some shows on Saturday, I just jumped in. Daveed was sitting across from me and Daphne next to him, closely. My mind was conflicted because a part of me knew that I didn't want to go and said that I just accepted his offer because right now: Daphne and Daveed were cuddling in front of me. And that same part knew I was just doing this so next weekend, I was deep down hoping that Daveed would be jealous. How childish of me, but I couldn't just bluntly tell him to dumb Daphne saying that she doesn't deserve him and she's crazy. I sank into my seat uncomfortably my eyes moving away from the couple to the screen. I couldn't bear it to watch them cuddle after I admitted to myself that I was liking Daveed more than I should. He was taken after all, even if it was Daphne, I should respect it because him and I are friends.

Friends.

I did this to myself, if I hadn't rejected him I would have been by his side now, not Daphne. I regret being this idiotic and just pushing my feelings away. I should have known that if I kept it up like that I would explode.

I sank more into the cushion under me.

"What are you scared?" Daphne asked in a mocking tone. Now I had two pair of eyes on me.

"Uh, no I'm just not sure what to wear for next weeks dinner? You know the one they made for your cast." I replied chuckling dryly to myself, biting my inner cheeks when I felt Daveed's eyes glued to mine.

"Oh so you're coming?" She asked with a raise eyebrow and a bored expression. I nodded my head slowly.

"Yeah Anthony asked me out." I muttered the smiled, an awfully painful smile. "Just like you said Daveed."

There was a moment of silence between Daveed and I while Daphne expressed her rather fake happiness for me. His eyes bored into mine and I felt a tingle spread through my whole body making the speed of my heart increase but then he cracked a smile breaking eye contact with me and I was bought back to reality that did not include me being by Daveed's side.

"I told you he would." He then spoke his voice sounded like he said it through gritted teeth. I slumped back into the too comfortable couch and ignored the obnoxious talk of Daphne. My eyes drifted off to the TV screen and watched scenes unfold in front of me. I have already watched all the seasons that were out and this episode wasn't new to me. So I stood up and excused myself to the bathroom. I instead walked into my bedroom and fell into my bed. My face nuzzled into the pillow and I let out a muffled loud groan.  I wasn't sure what to do and I felt so helpless. This wasn't a situation that I have been in before, I had no clue on what to do. Should I tell Daveed about my unwanted feelings? He doesn't have them for me so I shouldn't it would just shatter our relationship that we had now...because I was to blind to see how I really felt.  Nuzzling my face into the pillow I turned my head to the side and watched the sun sink down behind my window. Sighing to myself I decided to stand up and walk back to the living but it turned out to be an inconvenient moment. Daphne was about to straddle Daveed's lap while their lips were attached to each other.