I Found Love In Your Eyes

Chapter 4

It was finally the end of the day, Phil and I had exchanged numbers at lunch but I knew he wouldn't actually be texting me. I was on the bus heading home, and I was certain that this night was the night. I've been thinking about it for awhile now and tonight is the perfect opportunity as my mom won't be home until late as she starts her second job today. When I'm gone she will only have to worry about herself. Not two people, it will be easier for her. Finally the bus had stopped in front of my house and I got off thinking about how that was the last time I will ride the bus, not too upset about that one. I reach into my backpack and pull out my keys twirling them around my finger one time before beginning to unlock my door. When I got the door unlocked I ran upstairs to my room and placed my backpack on the floor. The first thing I did after that was get my laptop and scroll through tumblr for what I thought would be the last time. I was just scrolling through pictures of Kanye West, Anime, Horrible Memes, and pictures of Evan peters when I suddenly came across this amazing aesthetically pleasing post that had so many of my favorite bands on it. I was confused as I had never seen this account before, so I clicked on their page which was cleverly titled 'AmazingLion' and proceeded to scroll through every post they had on the account, and boy did they have a lot. I was shocked to find they had nearly exactly the same interests as me so in curiosity I messaged them. I wasn't even thinking about what I was doing, it was like I wasn't even controlling my fingers. I was just typing and sending a message that hopefully I wouldn't regret.
"Hello there AmazingLion, I was just bored so I was scrolling through my feed when I stumbled across your account and I fell into the deep hole, I have been looking through your account for a long time and I was shocked to find we have exactly the same interests. Even down to our weird obsession with sports anime." I sent the message and instantly regretted it. I was meant to be killing myself right now. Not messaging some stranger online that probably doesn't even want to talk to me. I get up from my spot on my bed and walk to my desk drawer and pick up my little black box. I held the blade in my palm. Should I really do it again? I was ugly enough without the scars. the little silver, shiny, object out of the box and held the blade in my palm. Oh but I need the cuts it's my way of breathing. I hold it to my wrist about to press down and create even more marks that will scar my body. When I here a weird noise coming from my laptop. Did i just get a message? Who would want to message me? I look over at my laptop and see that it's the 'AmazingLion' that I had messaged earlier. He actually answered back?!
"Hello dinof, nice to know you liked my account and I would like to inform you that your account is the best thing I've seen in awhile. I find it cool we like so many of the same things. I'd like to talk again some other time, maybe even video chat or something, it would be nice to actually learn more about you, cause we share so many of the same interests." Oh my goodness, someone is actually interested in talking to me, that's a first. I quickly start typing a message hoping the person won't ignore me and decide how much of a loser I am.
"Yeah that would be nice, but how do I know you aren't some creepy old man." Great question Dan what a good way for you to keep friends. I sass to myself
"Lol, I promise to you I'm not a creepy old man. I'm actually only 17."
"So am I."
We just started talking for hours. The most important things I learned about AmazingLion was that he was 17, lives in my city, and that he wants a dog sometime in the near future. We were talking so long I completely forgot about my plans for that night. I forgot that I wanted to kill myself, all because this guy online named AmazingLion that really was amazing. Time went by so fast I didn't even realize it was 12 and my mom would be home any second. I just decided to put my razor away, and get into bed. Tonight was the first night in a year that I had gone to bed without cutting and it felt weird. It felt different. I decided to postpone my plans that I had for tonight to be tomorrow night because it would be the only night for the rest of the week my mom won't be home until one. Let's just hope I have no more interruptions or else I'll have to wait a entire week for my next opportunity.