Memory (H2OVanoss)[Completed]

Chapter 2

The five stages of grief:

Denial

Jonathan refused to believe he was dead, he couldn't be, he was too smart to let himself die. It was the day before April Fools, it had to have just been a prank...

Right?

Just some sick, cruel, and messed up prank, that's all it was. Wasn't it?

He cried himself to sleep, hoping in the morning he would be waiting for him with a giant 'April Fools!' sign. At this point, he didn't care how bad of a prank it was, he just wanted to see him one last time.

Or maybe it was just a bad dream, he has those all the time. All he had to do was go to sleep and then he would wake up in his arms. And he would tell him everything is ok, that he was right there and he would always protect him.

Oh, how he missed those nights....

Anger

Tyler couldn't stand it, everything was too quiet. The drive home, the apartment, the ceremony, everything. Why did it have to be so damn quiet?

Tyler was just angry, and he didn't know why. He was angry at himself, he was angry at Plan B, he was angry at them for not trying to help save him. And, deep down, he was angry at him, for letting himself get killed.

Tyler should have done something, he should've went with them, he should've been their backup. Then maybe, just maybe, he would be gone instead of  him. But Tyler did nothing, and that frustrated him so much.

Someone should've protested against Plan B, in hindsight, the plan was horrible. Sure, it was just an outline that they never used, but it was horrible. Yeah, they escaped, but at what cost?

They had all accepted Plan B instead of trying to find another way. They didn't try hard enough! They knew the outcome and they still let it happen. Why would they do that?

And him. He let himself die, he was smart, he shouldn't have died, he did it on purpose. Why would he ever do that, how could he do that to us?

What the hell was his problem?

Bargaining

Marcel had accepted it, but he didn't want to not try. He thought of anything he would rather have than live in this circumstance. He'd rather lose all his limbs than deal with this.

Why can't it be him instead? Just bring him back to them, take him instead....

Jonathan needed him, Tyler needed him, everyone needed him.

But no one needed Marcel, it was perfect. Take one life to give back another. Marcel didn't care if he dropped dead right now, as long as it meant they could have him back.

They need him back.

Depression

The guys had no spirit anymore. Everything seemed pointless and they didn't want to so much as breathe. They couldn't feel anything anymore, there was just too much hurt.

Why did they get to live and he didn't? He deserved it more, he had everything to look forward to. He was in a happy relationship, he was smart, and successful, why did he have to die?

Jonathan spent most of his time by himself, sulking and feeling awful. He never knew what it was like to lose something and miss it so much. To have it physically hurt him, he never believed it was possible. But it was, and now he couldn't remember what it felt like to not have this pain, to have this hole in his chest.

The guys felt like that too, just the feeling wasn't as strong. I mean, they had known him well, just not as well as his boyfriend of course. But that didn't stop their hearts from aching with the powerful pain of a lost friend.

Acceptance

A month and a half later, the guys finally accepted it. He was gone, for good.

No pranks, no jokes, no lies, just the truth. They had finally faced the music.

There would be no more celebrations of Canada Day, no more teasing with the name of 'snowman', no more waking up on the Fourth of July to Canada's national anthem. It was all gone.

For Jonathan, no more spontaneous dates, no more Valentine's Day surprise vacations, no more sleeping together, no more sharing clothes. Everything was gone.

No more random Halloween jump-scares during October when he would take out the creepy masks. No more Canadian Thanksgivings and American Thanksgivings a month later.

Everything they had done together, everything that had made him so unique, special, and the best friend in the entire world, was gone. Trips to the beach, to the fair, on roller coasters and spontaneous drinking sprees, vanished into thin air.

And they knew that now, they finally accepted that this was their life. He was gone, and they had to let him go, it's what he would've wanted.

They had to live, for him. Because that's what he gave his life for, for them.

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Bang.

A scream, out of shock and pain, a muted 'thud' as something hit the ground. Frantic footsteps and shuffling as they struggled to get up, ignoring the burning pain in their abdomen.

Running, the heavy footfalls of boots making contact with the pavement underneath them, they were rushed.

Separation, to ditch the cops that had been trailing them. They chased the injured one, who's vision had started to blur, objects beginning to turn into multi-colored blobs. Yet they still ran, they had too.

Fire escape, the rusty ladder trying so hard to resist being pulled down, it shook as hands gripped it, climbing until they reached the platform. Racing up the stairs, the boots clanging against the metal steps.

The roof, pain blinded him, he fell onto the floor, clutching the button to trigger the explosives he had planted on his way here. His head swam, like an Olympic swimmer, it was doing laps at the speed of light.

Officers made there way to him, they thought they had him pinned, they were wrong.

Two words, his last order, three words, his last message to his lover.

"Just go."

They did.

"I love you."

But Jonathan never said them back.

Boom