Memory (H2OVanoss)[Completed]

Chapter 21

His hand shook, hovering over the doorknob for a few silent, but achingly long moments, his heartbeat pounding in his chest, the sound ringing throughout his skull. Just a couple seconds ago, when he was still in the elevator, he wanted nothing more than to get to the apartment as quickly as possible, but as he stood in front of the door, he couldn't help but wish he was anywhere else.

Right now, he wasn't so sure that he wanted to see what may lay behind the door, he dreaded to see what scene would be waiting for him.

But he wasn't a coward, and the person behind the door was someone he truly cared about, so he pushed himself forward.

Taking a shaky breath, he touched the cool metal doorknob, no longer holding his hand just centimeters from it as he turned it, pushing the door open far more quickly than he had thought.

The keys fell from his hand, a gasp escaped his lips, and his legs were moving him forward without his knowledge as he saw Evan laying on the ground, completely unconscious.

In a few swift moments, he was kneeling next to him, calling his name as he checked his pulse desperately. "Come on, Ev. Don't do this, not now. Please wake up.......please." He pleaded, tears falling from his eyes as he realized the state Evan was in.

His face was pale, his skin seemed to be a few degrees short of freezing, an he looked so much smaller and frailer than he had a week ago.

I shouldn't have left him, Jonathan thought, barely registering that everyone else had piled into the apartment, crowding around him as He stared in shock, clutching one of his hands.

Brock pushed his way forward, giving Jonathan a gentle smile before sitting next to him, looking at Evan. "We'll have to move him to his room, but you can stay with him." Brock said quietly, his sympathetic voice causing Jonathan to nod.

"Okay." He mumbled out, getting up as Brock motioned for David and Tyler to pick Evan up, Jonathan following close behind as they went to his room.

They laid him down on his bed, over the blankets so Brock could check out what was wrong. Jonathan sat at the desk so he didn't get in Brock's way, his anxious eyes lingering on Evan as Tyler and David left.

"He's been out for at least a day." Brock said, turning to Jonathan. "No physical damage, but he might possibly be in a coma. Not permanent though, although I'm not sure when he'll wake up. I'll get Lui to help me bring some supplies in here, you can come sit next to him." He said, leaving Evan's side as he walked over to the door.

Jonathan stood up, grabbing his chair in silence as he rushed to be next to Evan, once again taking hold of his hand. "You have to wake up, Ev, Brock says you'll wake up, so you have to. I have so much to tell you, I'll tell you your whole fucking life story if you want, just wake up. Wake up for me, Ev. Wake up for me." He said, voicing his thoughts as he put his head down on the bed, his eyes still fixed on the person in it.

He's still so cute, even in a coma. He thought to himself, still staring. As soon as he wakes up, I'll tell him how much I love him, how much he means to me, and I'll hug him so tight, I'll never let him go again. He vowed silently as the door opened and Brock and Lui came in, holding equipment that they needed to hookup.

About an hour later they left once more, they had hooked up an IV to Evan's arm, deciding against an oxygen mask since he could breath just fine. It was like a mini hospital, even the machine with the green line checking his heart rate was set up, everything looked so serious, it scared Jonathan a little.

Because hospitals were one of the most common places people die or are on the verge of death, and even though he knew that Evan was going to live he was scared that maybe something would go wrong and he would die, for real this time. Then they would finally have a body to fill that hole they dug a year ago.

But he shook those thoughts out of his head, he needed to focus on Evan right now, he needed to focus on the rise and fall of his chest, the way his hair flopped into his eyes ever so slightly, how his mouth was open just a small slit, oxygen flowing in and out.

His peaceful expression, Jonathan's eyes still glued to his closed eyelids, waiting for when they opened to reveal the beautiful chocolate brown eyes that he had fallen in love with, the ones full of so much hope and light it could blind a man, and a confident smirk playing on his lips as he planned out their next mission, Jonathan watching from a nearby chair, eventually ending up right beside him. He ached for a chance to see his smile, the smile that he used just for him, the one he had completely fallen for.

Jonathan had never even realized how in love he is until Evan was gone, and when he came back everything just hit him like a train. How much he craved his attention, looking at him every morning, hugging him whenever he wanted, hearing his angelic laugh, it was like a dream.

But, with every dream there's a nightmare. Like how Evan doesn't remember him, how he doesn't look at him with the same admiration as before, how he isn't in love with him anymore, and how he's in a freaking coma. And maybe, just maybe, Evan would remember everything, but he still wouldn't love him anymore, he could try and try but nothing could ever bring that love back. Would it even be worth it all if that happened? If he falls out of love, would it have been worth all of these feelings Jonathan felt flow through him every time Evan was around, void of any memory of them being together.

Hours passed, feeling like just seconds to Jonathan as he watched Evan intently, their hands together and his head resting on the side of the bed, the rest of his body awkwardly angled in the desk chair he sat in.

Eventually, his eyes involuntarily closed, washing him into a deep but troubled sleep, visions of good times and bad times dancing throughout his dreams. Isolation, togetherness, fear, and joy mixed like colors on a canvas to create such a beautiful tragedy in his head. He could've drifted away, washing up on a deserted island of grief if not for his tight grip on Evan's hand, which brought him a comforting light in the darkness that threatened to consume him.

There is something just so beautiful about the mystery known as love, because no matter what happens, you always know that somehow you'll be okay.