Not My Way

Don't be scared - 23

*Lilly's pov*

I woke up and Joli was sleeping next to me. So I got ready and went downstairs. It was early so I made coffee and brought it up to Joli.

By the time I came back Joli was waking up. "I got you some coffee." I said. She took it and sighed.

"So why'd you come here in the middle of the night?" I asked. "Joe and I got into a fight." She said. "What? What happened?" I asked.

"I was worrying about him not loving me for the baby, Joe said he would always love both of us. Then I left. He said he loved me." She explained.

I nodded. "Have you said it to him?" I asked. She shook her head. "Do you love him?" I asked.

"Yes. Very much. I just can't form the words. I'm just getting really stressed and I know that's not good for the baby, and that stresses me more."

"Just drink some coffee and think about it. I have to get ready. I'm eating breakfast with Terrain in fifteen."

"Can I come?" She asked. I nodded. "I don't see why not." I let her have some clothes and we went downstairs.

"Wait her, I'll get Terrain." She nodded and I left. I was walking to Terrain's room and I saw Carla walk out of a room, quietly and with messy hair.

I cocked my eyebrow and gave her a look. She looked down and walked by me.

I went upstairs and walked to Terrain's room. I knocked and he answered. He had a messy head and a bruise on his face.

"Terrain. Your face. It's... Bruised... Very bad." I said. It was a little purple. That guy must have hit him bad.

It wasn't very big, maybe a little bigger than a small fist. I touched it and he flinched back. "Let me see it." I grabbed his head.

I touched it and it hurt him. I pushed him towards his bathroom and wet a cloth. I put it on his face and let him hold it.

"Leave it on while we are eating." He nodded and we walked to the kitchen. Joli was there and she had some eggs cooking.

"Hey Terrain! Nice to see you again!" She greeted. "I didn't know she would be here." Terrain whispered.

"It's fine. I invited her." I explained. Terrain walked over and bowed. "Nice to see you again too." He said.

She smiled and started some bacon. I helped with, along with Terrain. We finished after a while and we made food for the pack.

As people came and went, Terrain, Joli and I talked. "So. Where did you live before this?" I asked Terrain.

"Seattle. We were visiting some family. My grandma died." He said. I nodded. "What about you?" He asked.

"Here. I was at this pack. I was taken as a baby." I explained. "Oh." I think he felt bad for asking.

"Anyway, Lilly. Do you think I should send the news to the pack?" She asked. I shook my head. "Wait till three months." I said. She nodded.

"What?" Terrain asked. I shook my head. He shut up and cleaned his plate. Joli and I did the same.

"I'll meet up with you later, okay?" She nodded and left. Terrain did the same. I stood in the kitchen.

I leaned against the counter and sighed. I can't stop thinking about Deon.

Kyla walked in. "Hey." I said she nodded. "You wanna help train with me? Wednesdays and Thursdays." She asked. I nodded and she left.

I stood there for a while before leaving for my room. As I was leaving the room, someone knocked into me and I fell.

I fell with an 'oof' and looked at who ran into me. It was Deon. He had a blank face and grabbed a plate and left.

I looked at the ground. "What did I do wrong?" I asked no one. What did I do wrong?

*****************

*Deon's pov*

I knocked into someone and I was about to apologize when I saw who it was. I quickly put in a blank face and grabbed and plate and when around the corner.

"What did I do wrong?" She asked herself. I left and went to my room. Sure, I feel really bad. I know I shouldn't be ignoring her.

But the symbol. She is going to destroy us all. I trusted her. She seemed to be trusting me. I messed it all up. I should have never marked her. I should have never left her!

I stood and broke my desk. I should be comforting her. I've changed my mind. I'm not going to hurt her. I don't want to hurt her. I love her.

*****************
*Lilly's pov*

After he left I walked up to my room and made myself into a ball on my bed. I heard the door open. I looked up and Deon was there with dark eyes.

My eyes widened as he closed the door. I quickly sat up against my bed board. He got closer. I closed my eyes and put my head to the side.

I put myself into a submissive position because I knew I wasn't going to hurt him.

Before I knew it, tears were dripping from my face. When's he going to kill me?

I opened my eyes and Deon was just standing next to my bed. He went to sit down and I quickly moved to the other side of the bed.

I closed my eyes again. Was he going to hurt me? Or was he just here to torment me?

"I'm not going to hurt you." He said. I opened my eyes and stared at him. He went to touch my knee, I scooted myself over more, I almost fell off the bed.

He looked sad. Did I do that? Did I make him sad? I got a little closer to him. He stared into my eyes.

"You're not going to kill me?" I asked. "No. No, never. I don't want to ever hurt you." He said.

I relaxed a little and sat closer to him. He slowly put his hand on my knee. "I'm sorry for making you feel sad and hurt." He said. I nodded.

He smiled. I didn't. I was still scared. His smile fell. "You don't trust me." He said. It looked like he was getting angry.

My breath was getting heavier. "You don't trust me." He said a little deeper. I pushed myself back a little more before Deon grabbed my arm.

My breathing was really ragged now. I bet it wasn't helping. He was now lowly growling. He pushed me over and hovered over me.

*****************

*Deon's pov*

I stood in front of her door. I walked in. I closed the door and Lilly sat up and put herself into a submissive position.

Was she scared? Then she started crying. I walked closer. She opened her eyes. She looked at me. I went to sit and she moved over.

She closed her eyes again. "I'm not going to hurt you." I said. She opened her eyes again. I went to put my hand on her knee to reassure her.

She almost fell off the bed when she moved again. She was afraid I was going to hurt her.

"You're not going to kill me?" She asked. What? I would never. "No. No, never. I don't want to ever hurt you."

She relaxed a little and sat closer to me. I slowly put my hand on her knee. "I'm sorry for making you sad and hurt." She nodded.

I smiled. She didn't. She didn't trust me. "You don't trust me." I said. I was a little annoyed. I told her I wouldn't hurt her.

"You don't trust me." I said again. I was angry. I said I wouldn't hurt her! She backed up a bit. I grabbed her arm to keep her from going back.

She shouldn't be scared. It's me. I growled low. She breathing was ragged. She was still scared! I pushed her on her back and I hovered over her.

I'll show her not to be scared.

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I love you all so keep flying my little birds!

-Black&Blue