TWO PIECES ➸ BELLAMY BLAKE

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Monroe died. She died because of the poisoned fog. Some people were scared that I was going to die too. But here I am. Alive. But also not. Everyone is avoiding me and I feel lonely. I tried to talk to a lot of people but they just quickly walked away. Like I have a virus or something that can kill them. It just makes me angry. I survived death again and all I get are stares from people. From people I don't even know. 

But I'm done with that. I want to know why people are avoiding me and why no one is talking to me. The only one that talked to me is Raven and it was not even a good conversation. She was basically trying to give me a chip and told me that it was going to help get myself back together. She told me that if I take the chip all the pain will go away. But there's not a change that will happen. I'm not taking that chip and all of my pain will never fully be gone. 

I walk out of the Ark and look for my mom. She is the only one I haven't talked to in a long time. And I know she won't lie to me. She can't and she won't. At least I hope. I'm getting angry with all the people keeping secrets from me so I hope she will tell me. I can't keep up with being alone all the time and being ignored. She's supposed to know that. 

Once I see my mom in the sea of people I run towards her. 
'Mom,' I say happy while I throw my arms around her embracing her. 
I feel her stiffen but eventually she hugs me back.
'What's wrong sweetheart?' she asks me while she lets me go. 

I take a step back and look her in the eyes. She's smiling. It must be because I talk to her after a long time. 
'I want to ask you something,' I say hoping she won't walk away. 
The smile she had on her face fades away immediately and she's looking more worried now. worried that she might say to much. 
'Oh uhm,' she tries to think of an excuse.

'I have to uh- help someone,' she quickly says turning around and starting to walk away. 

I frown and watch her walk away but then I snap out of my trance and run after her. 
'Mom!' I say angry when I grab her arm. 
She turns around to look at me and I can see she's scared. Is she scared of me?
'I'm so sorry. But I can't tell you. Bellamy told everyone not to tell you. I said to much,' she says shocked by her own words. 

I frown and let go of her arm. Bellamy is keeping things from me? Why would he do that? And what is he keeping away from me? I thought he would never do something like that. I thought after everything we've been through we would be honest with each other. But apparently he's still holding things from me. 

'Thanks for telling me mom,' I say trying to smile. 
I turn around and immediately search for Bellamy. He's keeping things from me and told everyone what it was. But telling me? No way that's not going to happen. I now know why everyone was walking away from me. But I'm gonna find out what it is. 

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Well I've finally found him. After an hour of looking and asking someone finally told me where he is. At a freaking meeting with Pike and the others from his little bullshit group. So now I'm heading that way with an angry mood. And when I finally reach the door to Pike's office I bang loudly, and with loudly I mean very loudly, on the door.

'Open the door!' I scream angry. 
It's silent on the other side and I don't even know if they heard me. Although I screamed pretty hard so I think whole Arkadia heard it.
'I think she's angry,' I hear Pike say.

'No shit! Just open the damn door!' I scream again.

'It's your girlfriend. You open the door,' Monty says. 

Not long after that the door opens and the one I am desperate to talk to is standing in front of me. Bellamy is slightly looking scared but he can hide it very well.
'I guess you're angry,' he says laughing.

'Everyone is avoiding me. No one is talking to me. So tell me. What the hell are you keeping away from me?' I say folding my arms getting more angry.  

Bellamy's eyes immediately go to worry and now I know for sure that he's really keeping something from me. 
'Emily, you don't want to know,' Bellamy says trying to change my mind. 

'Yes I do.' 
'No you don't.'
'Yes I do!' I scream now. 

'You really want to know? Well here it comes. Lexa's dead.' 
I wanted to say something else but the last sentence got me quiet. How? How the hell can she be dead?

'You don't mean that. That's a joke,' I try to avoid the truth.

'No it's not. Lexa's dead Emily. That was what I was trying to keep you from. I'm sorry,' Bellamy says when he sees the look on my face. 

I feel my knees starting to shake and I fall on the ground. Bellamy quickly catches me but he doesn't stop me from hitting the ground. Tears are falling on my cheeks and I can't stop crying. I don't cry out loud. The tears just fall without stopping. I'm too shocked. How could this happen? She was strong and she would won every fight but now she's dead. What's the hell happened? She's dead. Lexa. Practically my sister. She's dead and I couldn't say goodbye. Why is everyone dying? First my dad and Joshua. Then Gina and now Lexa. What is the world trying to do to me? Everyone dies but I stay. Is it too much to not let the loved ones in my life die? 

I'm dying right now. Not from the inside or the outside. But just with my feelings. Lexa died and I wasn't there. I don't even remember the last words I said to her. And that's the worst. That I don't remember that. I will never see her again. Hear her again. Or talk to her again. And that's what's killing me.

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I know this chapter sucks but I wasn't really getting into it so it was hard to write.