TWO PIECES ➸ BELLAMY BLAKE

||68||

I'm feeling like I am nothing. Like no one thinks about me. That no one thinks about what I want. What I want is peace. No more war. No more killing. No more blood on my hands then I already have. But no one asks me about it and without anyone helping me I can't make all those things come true. It's too hard to do it on my own. Everyone needs help sometimes. And I need it now but I still don't get any. 

I just want to feel happy again. I want to see it from other people. I want to know that they are happy. But they are not and that's the problem. No one is happy. And that's because there is a war. And war brings death. Death brings unhappiness. And I can't stop it because no one is agreeing with me. 

I want to make people happy again. I want to stop the war. I want to stop A.L.I.E.. I know that if I want all these things to happen I have to take the flame. But the two problems are that no one is agreeing with me and I don't know how to activate it. So it doesn't matter if I have the flame in my hands or not. I can't do anything with it. Clarke is the only one who knows. I also think that they don't want to believe I'm a night blood. Or that they are ignoring it or trying to forget it. It's like they don't want me to be one. 

But right now I've got the feeling like Clarke is about to use the flame. She's talking with Luna and showing it to her. I know Luna won't take the flame. She will never take it. And Clarke's words from before make a bell ring in my head. She's going to put the flame in Luna's head without asking. I can see it in her eyes and by the way she looks. And I'm sitting a few feet away. 

But I quickly stand up and walk over to them. I'm just hoping that Clarke doesn't put the flame in Luna's head. Or that I'm in time to get to her to take the flame out of her hands. Or to talk some sense into her head. Luna doesn't want the flame. Why can't she just accept that? Why can't she just put it in my head? I'm a night blood. I will survive it. They just don't want it. 

But my prayers are not heard because Clarke places her hands at the back of Luna's neck. And for a second I thought that she was going to succeed. But I was wrong. Luna grabs Clarke's arm and pushes it away from her head. She then throws Clarke on the ground and the flame rolls out of her hand. I'm now standing next to Luna and I bow to grab the flame. 

I give it to Luna. She is the one who should have it. It doesn't matter that she won't take it. It's just something she's rightful for to keep. I look at Clarke. Just by seeing her face I get angry.
'What were you thinking Clarke? This is not who you are,' I say angry at her. 
I was hoping and kind of expecting for a respond but I don't get one. Luna talks instead. 

'I didn't flee the Conclave because I was afraid I would lose. I fled because I knew I would win.'

After that Luna pulls Clarke up and by the force of it I know Luna has a strong grip on Clarke's arm. You can also see it on Clarke's face. I would've done the same. Clarke should know that she can't do this. And so should Bellamy and Octavia. They just can't do this. Luna doesn't want it and I've said that a lot now but it's true. You can't force her. 

'You should be grateful, Clarke. After I was forced to kill my own brother in the first round, I was matched against Lexa in the second. Fate is funny that way, don't you think? You'll get this back when you leave,' Luna says holding up the flame. 
She then walks away leaving a stunned Clarke behind. But not for long. Clarke's face turns a bit angry and she looks at me. 

'Why did you give the flame to her?' Clarke asks me raising her voice with every word she says. 

'Because it belongs to her. But don't worry. You'll get it back once we'll leave.'

'That's not the point! She needs to take the flame otherwise there's a change everyone will die!' Clarke now yells at me. 

'Yeah? Then what about me, huh? Because I haven't heard other words from you then that Luna needs to take that flame! Look at me Clarke. I'm also a night blood. And if Luna doesn't take it then I do! And I don't care what you think of that. It's me eventually who is going to take the flame,' I yell back at her. But I can't talk or see her face anymore so I turn around and walk away with tears in my eyes. Everything is getting on my nerves. It's all too much for me.