I Am NOT Gay •Phan•

•Chapter 5•

Phil woke before Dan. He swears he heard Dan say he loved him last night, but Phil only brushed it off as a dream. He was almost fully asleep, so he really didn't hear anything happening around him.

Dan's head rested against Phil's chest. Phil took in all of his features, Dan looked so peaceful when he slept. It was unusual because Dan rarely slept well, but when he was around Phil he always could sleep, days when they were apart for family vacations were the worst for Dan. Phil hated leaving him because he knew. Dan hated to admit it to Phil, but Phil knew Dan too well and could tell right away there was a problem. Phil adored how Dan's breathing steadied when he slept and how Dan curled into his side. He loved that his younger friend didn't have to worry when they were together.

Phil ran his fingers across Dan's forehead, moving loose strands of hair from his closed eyes. Dan's eyes fluttered open and he glanced up at Phil, a small smile crept onto his face before he shut his eyes again and cuddled into the older boy's side.

"Morning Sunshine," he mumbled, "how long've you been up?" His forearm rests atop of his forehead while his other hand reaches up to fumble with Phil's hair.

"Not too long, maybe 10 minutes at most." Phil chuckles.

Comfortable silence fills the room for a short amount of time.

"Hey Phil, can I ask you something?"

"Hmm..?" Phil hums reaching for Dan's hand and removing it from his hair where he tangles their fingers.

"I know it's early in the morning and we really haven't done anything to establish what our future will be, but if we do start dating, can we keep it a secret? I just... I'm scared of what people will say, and I mean honestly I don't think it's any of their business but like don't get me wrong because I'd want to show off that you're mine, I mean that is if you were mine. And-"

"Dan..." Phil chuckles, "I completely understand what you're saying and I respect it. It can be our secret, but for goodness sake stop rambling, that's my job." Dan laughs, looking up at Phil. He wanted nothing more than to kiss him, he finally could if he wanted to and no one could say any different.

He didn't.

"So what do you want to do today?" Dan asks unsure of what the plan was.

"Whatever you want baby cakes, stay in, go out, hot pokey buttsex under the stars. You name it." Phil jokes and Dan bursts out laughing.

"You're such an ass." Dan lifts their tangled hands observing the way they fit perfectly. 

More comfortable silence.

"Do you think we're meant to be Phil?" Dan whispers.

"Maybe..." Phil trails.

Dan nuzzles his head into Phil's side.

"Maybe." He mumbles and Phil giggles from the vibrations felt on his side. "Can we stay in?" Dan wraps his arm around Phil. "Or possibly look for an arcade of some sort." 

"What ever you want babe." He squeezed Dan's hand. Dan was taken aback as he'd never seen Phil so confident. I mean it didn't bother him, but he just wasn't expecting it.

"Who are you and what have you done with Phil?" Dan laughs sitting up.

"I don't know, I just feel more confident being with you like this, finally open. It seems different now that you're finally considering your sexuality." His back leans against the head board and Dan sits level with his chest.

"Would it be too soon if I just kind of..." Phil moved his hands to Dan's waist and moved him onto his lap. Dan shifted his legs to a straddling position. Dan giggles but soon places his hands beside Phil's head positioning his face inches from Phil's.

"I've waited so long for this moment." Phil breathes in a whisper.

"You have?" Dan was shocked, but Phil only nods his head. Slowly Phil lifts his head closer to Dan's. Dan's stomach fills with a massive amount of butterflies and before he knew it, the boy he once told himself he didn't like, couldn't like, or wouldn't like had his lips pressed against his own. 

Dan told hisself he was straight, he swore he'd never like a guy. He just wouldn't allow hisself to do so, but Phil changed everything. Phil made a difference, he was Dan's meant to be. He was a forbidden love Dan couldn't live without.