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I recognize the people in the diner from my party – too late.
......
Brogan leads me into an Operating Room situated in the basement of the fake diner.
He throws his arms round the stark space, "This is where it's gonna happen, where history will be made and my child conceived."
He points to a wall mounted monitor, "Hey – someone wants to talk to ya," he says, pointing and pressing a remote device.
"Hi, Babe!" Charlotte's annoying high-pitched voice fills the space. After a few seconds delay the voice is accompanied by her Skype image.
"OMG! Babe, you cut your hair – I kinda like it – but your Mom will absolutely flip!" She pauses to apply lip gloss, "Now, Babe, you need to know that I'm OK with what you did – I totally forgive you."
She blows a kiss toward Brogan, "MWAH! I miss you honey. Wait till you see the new me; I had a breast augmentation during my womb removal. I've gone up a whole cup size and have teardrop shaped implants – they look so PERKAYYYYY!" she squeals.
Brogan smiles wide, "BEUTILICIOUS BAYBEEEE! But you know I love you just the way you are," he sings, then continues, "Still, I won't lie, I can't wait to see them, hun."
"BROGAN, please, not in front of Babe," she says with a wink.
......
They're a freaking couple – I feel sick!
......
Her attention turns back to me, "I should be back home three days after your womb transplant, Babe. I can't wait to see you."
What – HOW? I think.
"Erm, Charlotte, what about your Passport? I ask."
"Oh, I have it," she says.
I'm confused, "Erm, Charlotte, it's in the safe at my Hotel here in Chicago."
"Orrrrr, Babe, you're still so naïve," she says, with an annoyingly patronizing smile. "Your parents people sent it back by Special delivery as soon as you handed it over at the Hotel. What were you staying in that slummy, slime pit for, in that Badass area, Babe? You could afford The Hilton."
My head spins, "WAIT! Charlotte, how'd you know where I was?"
She laughs, "Babe, you have a GPS implanted inside you, in the space between your thumb and index finger. Your Mom did it during your gender reassignment surgery three years ago – we can follow your every move. That's why we weren't worried about your little escapade, it was an inconvenience – that's all."
Brogan laughs, "I knew when you left that shit-hole-hotel, I was ready for your arrival, buddy."
I want to scream, 'STOP CALLING ME, BABE AND BUDDY – you pair of low-life traitors!
