Time of the Year

5

That voice, that anger was enough to strike fear into any mortal. She'd had a bad shift, a brutal one and the whole E.D had felt it.
The death of a child is always difficult to deal with but when that child was your own patient it has a tendency to crush you. It's how you pick yourself up afterwards that matters, how you cope with the loss. All the staff deal with these loses differently, loses that effect you and stay with you for a long time to come.
Connie gets angry, not at anyone in particular just at the situation and the injustice of it all. She lashes out before finding solace in her darkened office which was where she was brooding now.
He itched to see her.
"Me or you?" Asked Charlie beside him nodding in the direction of his focus.
He was tempted to let his friend go as indecision took over, maybe she wouldn't be comfortable enough with him. Charlie was the safe bet but he took the polystyrene cup on offer and knocked on her door.
...
She sat with her head cradled in her hands no doubt running and rerunning all her decisions through her mind. Picking away at each one, looking for any floor that had brought on the little girls downfall. He knows she won't find any, he'd been there, he'd seen her work, this patient was never meant to be saved.
He'd surprised her.
She hadn't expected it to be him to come and find her, since their breakup Charlie had taken on the roll of her sounding board. "I can go if you prefer." He had to offer.
"N...No...it's fine." She was wary as she took the coffee that was offered. "Charlie got you doing his dirty work?" Of cause she knew what this was, she knew he was the sacrificial lamb for her to rage at if she needed to spare the rest of the staff.
"I wanted to come." He'd managed to surprise her again, the fact that he wanted to be there for her, it was the biggest step towards her that he'd taken since Christmas eve.
...
"I'm fine." She was giving him an out, could probably see how uncomfortable he looked. She was far from fine he knew, so taking a deep breath he dropped his tired bones into the cushions of her sofa.
"How's Grace?" He started with an easy question.
"She's good...with Sam for Easter break."
Jacob nodded and waited. "I know we did everything right in there...I know that." She told him and he believed her. "It just seems so pointless...a waste."
"It makes us all angry Connie...Not just you." Again he cursed himself for his lack of control. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded...Maybe Charlie would be better for you to talk to about this." He added and quickly made for the door.
"Jacob...wait. Please." She begged, jumping up and rounding her desk. "I want to talk to you..." He watched her struggle, wringing her hands together as she edged towards him. This was the first opportunity for a private conversation and he could see she wasn't going to let it pass her by. "...just not about the girl...I...can..." She sighed. "...did I hear right... are you dating?"
He actually considered being evasive, having one last toy to watch her squirm.
"No...I went out for a few drinks with someone that wasn't you and it was quite possibly the most ridiculous thing I've ever taken part in." He told her the truth, as embarrassed as he was by the whole experience. He could see the corner of her lips twitching as she tried to hold back a smirk and it made him want to smile.
"Grace said you'd told her it was both of our fault that we broke up...I appreciate what you were trying to do." He was protecting her, he'd always try to protect her.
"Well it was...Charlie said we're as bad as each other and he's usually right." Jacob could feel his unease lifting as they shared a shy smile.
"Will you sit?" She asked moving closer to the sofa wanting him to move further back into the room.
"I should get back to work...if your okay." He turned the handle on the door.
"I'm fine." She repeated honestly, the only emotion he could pick up from her was the slight disappointment of him leaving, so he made her a promise. "We'll talk soon."
"Soon." She agreed.
He felt lighter some how as he left that office, like the weight he had been carrying around with him for the last six months had been lifted from his shoulders. With a spring in his step he went back to finish his shift.
Every now and again he would catch a glimpse of her across the department, working tirelessly treating patients, saving lives long after the end of her working day.
He'd fallen in love with her many months ago, so many months ago and now he realised he'd never stopped, after everything they'd been through he'd never stopped. He couldn't stop and he didn't want to.

I would just like to take a moment to thank everyone for their kind words, I'm so pleased you are enjoying my work and taking the time to read it.
Thankyou
C.J xxx