Time of the Year

12

The penultimate chapter....

Her nervousness put him on edge. "Is it bad? Is that why you can't say it?"
"No!" She denied quickly. "I'm just...I...what it is..." She sighed and Jacob could feel her frustration. Her words wouldn't come. "...How do you manage to say such heartfelt things?" She shuck her head. "I thought I could find something profound to say...Something that would make this more than just a question."
"Connie I don't need big speeches...If there's something you want to ask then ask...Stop beating yourself up!" Jacob held her hand as he waited for her to continue.
"Will you move in?" her question flew from her mouth and caught him unprepared and unsure of what he had heard.
"Move in?" He was stunned.
"I know...We've not been back together very long...But...I just...Your here nearly every night anyway...don't you think we've wasted enough time?"
"None of that matters connie...I don't consider our time apart wasted...as painful as it was...its made us stronger...brought us closer."
"There you go again with your deep words and understanding." Connie chuckled more out of nervousness than humour.
He knew she was thinking the worst but he needed to be sure. "As long as your sure...You've thought about this?"
"I've thought about it... Really thought about it. " her voice insistent and determined.
"Okay." He said simply as his smile widened, excitement built and bubbled in the pit of his stomach.
"Okay?" She checked as she to broke into a grin.
"Sure, I'll give notice on my place...and Grace...I take it she knows...you've talked." He asked and when she gave him a happy nod he sat up he placed a tender kiss on her lips.
...
He couldn't believe the massive step forward Connie was taking, she'd shocked him,  completely blown him away. She was proving to him, to everyone that she saw their relationship as serious, that she could let people in. That she'd let him in and he was the one she wanted to share her life with. The smile on his face was a permanent fixture, there was no knocking it, today was a good day. 
He walked into work a picture of happiness, blissful and drawing the attention of his colleagues.
"It's a lovely day...the sun is shining...I'm healthy...I have great friends...what's there not to smile about?" He'd told them, brushing off their quizzing and teasing.
Connie had never said this morning if she minded people knowing, he'd never thought to ask but he was fine, he would follow her lead. It was then he realised they'd not really broken the news of their renewed relationship either but he was sure people had worked it out by now.
As Jacob finished his long double shift in the E.D,  he pulled his belongings out of his locker still smiling, still humming. Not even the drunk that through up on his shoes could rain on his parade.
...
Weeks and months passed, he'd no idea where the time went. They'd found themselves a rhythm, it wasn't without the odd bicker but mostly it was happiness. Pure unadulterated happiness.
Jacob enjoyed it all,  the laughter as well as the squabbles. The contentment he felt was so strong, so powerful he would feel a lump rising in his throat just thinking about it.
To him it felt like a proper family unit, what he'd always imagined a family to be like.
Day trips, nights huddled on the sofa, the lengthy debates about what they should watch on TV and grace usually winning. School runs and shopping trips. Falling to sleep with Connie in his arms and waking her with breakfast in bed.
Connie remained a closed book on somethings but he knew he couldn't expect miracles,  a lifetime of conditioning wasn't going to disappear overnight, but he loved that she tried.
Last week she'd shut him out, spent all day tearing into the staff, even snapping at grace. She wouldn't talk no matter how hard he tried.
It wasn't till late that night when she came home from her self made extended shift and flopped down beside him she decided to share. "Sorry for today." She told him with a weak half smile.
Jacob stayed silent, he wasn't about to brush it off, say it was okay because it wasn't. She'd treated people like dirt today, nothing anybody did was good enough and that included him and grace.
"It's the anniversary of my mum's death." She confessed with a sigh.
"And you couldn't just say that instead of having me worry about you?" Jacob winced at the sound of his clipped voice then added gently. "Would you like to talk now?"
"No...That's why I didn't say anything...I really, really don't want to talk about it." She laid her head on his shoulder.
"Then that's all you needed to say..." Jacob smiled kindly at her. "... Shall we go to bed?"
"Just like that? Your not going to insist it's better to talk?" She frowned at him with disbelief.
"I'm not going to force you Connie...Unless...That's what you want...If you want me to push then..." He was ever so slightly confused.
"No! Thank you." She happily hugged him, holding on as tight as she could.
That was last week. Today was a different matter altogether, there was no shouting, no no strops just quiet brooding and that worried Jacob more than the shouting. She was hiding somewhere deep within herself, refusing to deal with whatever was bothering her. 'I'm fine' was her default reply to any of his enquiries.
Jacob found himself racking his brains for something he could have done wrong, any reason why she wouldn't even look in his direction.
Could she be regretting her decision, was he to hasty in giving up his house.