The Hardest Choice-Written by KatyDid

Chapter 8

I set her down and pull back slightly, keeping my arms around her.

Ignoring Luke, I ask if she'll take a walk with me. I see her eyes dart over my shoulder to him. My heart sinks. She feels like she needs his permission? What have we done to her?

"Nate."

Luke's tone holds warning.

"It's just a walk, Luke," I say, my eyes never leaving her's.

"Dammit. Alright."

I smile reassuringly down at Sang. She looks so lost and confused as to what's going on. "Lets go Peanut."

She's already wearing shoes, so I lead her out the door, toward the barn, knowing Luke's calling the cavalry on Sang's phone by now.

Sang

I don't know what's going on. Yesterday, on the way home from the spa, Victor got a text and turned the car around, saying the plans had changed. I was staying at Luke's. When I asked him what happened, he said it was Academy related.

I didn't press, but I wanted to know more. I thought they all had the night off?

I'd invited everyone over to swim and hang out. To be honest, I was nervous to spend time alone with Nathan when he got back from his assignment. I'm still processing what he said to me.....that he loved me. The truth is, I think I'm falling for all the boys. Even Mr. Blackbourne. How can that be? It's not normal. And when Nathan said he'd take me away from them.....I completely broke down finally and told Kota and Silas. I don't want to leave them. I want to stay with all of them....always.

But that's not possible either.

I glance at Nathan's profile. His face looks awful, painful. Did that happen on his assignment? It must have been dangerous. Is that why they had me stay at Luke's?

I press a finger to my lip and before I know it, Nathan's snatching it away, grinning at me. "None of that Sang. There's nothing to worry about."

So he says.....

Nathan

We stop and sit on some old tires by the barn.

She gingerly brushes her fingers across my cheek. "Does it hurt?"

"Nah...you should see the other guy." I joke.

She gives me a half smile. I guess she hasn't seen North yet or she would have said something about it.

I need to be careful of what I say. Whatever her answer, I don't want her to feel bad. I love her too much to do that to her.

"Sang?" I clear my throat, suddenly feeling nervous. "I have some things to ask you. I want you to give me your honest answers, not what you think I or anyone else would want to hear. There are no wrong answers either, Peanut." I give her a wink with my good eye, trying to put her rising nerves so evident on her face at ease.

"Okay," she whispers.

Aw, s***. How to do this?

"I know you don't have the same level of feeling for me as I do you right now.....and that's perfectly okay. I just need to know if...." I take a deep breath and smile at her, holding her hands, "Do you think your feelings for me will surpass those of the other guys, or be the same as for them?"

She blinks at me in shock.

"S***. I didn't say that right. I mean, do you think you'll always feel for me the same as you do the others? That even if I came to have your heart, it would be shared with eight other people?"

The expression on her face kills me. Shock, despair, shame, sadness. I don't want her to feel any of those. I knew in asking her, she'd tell me the answer without saying the words. I grab her and pull her in a hug. "It's okay Sang. It's okay to feel that way."

Even if it means my heart breaking, I will mend her's.

"I....I don't know what to say," she sniffs.

S***. I made her cry.

I pull her away and look at her beautiful face. "You don't have to say anything. The feelings you have for someone are between you and them. And they aren't wrong to have, whatever they are."

"It's not right," she insists in a whisper.

My heart's in my throat. She does love us all. She loves me, but not only me.

I gently brush away her tears. "You have a heart big enough to hold the world Peanut. However you love is right for you. It's what your heart needs and deserves."

"It's not normal."

I grit my teeth, I said the same thing but I can't apply that to her. To Peanut. No matter how I feel.

"You're an extraordinary girl with an extraordinary ability to love."

"You don't hate me?"

I pull her back into my arms, her tears wetting my shirt as one of my own escapes.

"Never."