Begin Again

Chapter 9

(RYAH)

I grasped the handle of the ax and gave it the biggest swing that I could. It collided with the the tree trunk with a satisfying 'thunk' and my arms shook with the force of the impact. I gave a tug and the embedded ax barely budged. I put my foot against the tree to loosen the ax and began the process again. I was a sweaty mess. I shoved my hair out of my face with my arm then gave another swing and small chunks of wood flew. 

I was making progress. It was painfully slow progress but it was progress. Nobody could deny it. That was the satisfying part. I put my foot against the trunk to pull the ax free again. I was lost in the monotony of the work. My arms ached with each swing but I wasn't about to give up at this point. I heaved the ax free again and pulled it back so I could throw it forward with as much force as I could muster. 

"What are you doing?" A voice asked directly behind me. 

I shrieked and jumped at the voice and spun around. 

"Whoa!" He cried as he took a step back with his arms in the air to avoid the ax that was still in my hands. 

"Sorry!" I said as I laid the ax head down on the ground and let the handle lean against the tree. 

"What are you doing, Ryah?" Torin asked with a confused expression as he examined my work. I looked proudly at the two trees I had already cut down.

"I would think that would be obvious," I said gesturing to the tree and the ax. I reached up to drag my sleeve across my sweaty forehead and smooth down the hair that had managed to escape my braid. 

"Alright, why are you cutting down trees?"

I opened my mouth and then I closed it. I didn't know how to answer his question. The answer sounded insane to me and I was the one doing it. I couldn't imagine what Torin would think. He would tell me how crazy I was to want to build something of my own. He would tell me that because I was a woman I shouldn't be living all alone. Then I realized that I didn't have to answer his question. 

He waited expectantly for my answer.

"I'm cutting down trees," I said evading the real answer as I pushed the hair out of my face again. I could just imagine how filthy I was. Torin was silent as he waited for me to continue. "I don't see how it's any of your business what I am doing." I finished lamely as he gave me a blank stare.

"I'm just curious. If you don't want to tell me, that's your decision. Thank you for your time" he said then he spun on heel and walked away. I could hear the small twigs and leaves crunching underneath his feet with every step that he took. I watched as he neared the treeline and he gave no indication that he was going to stop. 

I sighed in defeat. "I'm cutting down trees because I want to build a house." 

He froze and turned around to look at me with a raised eyebrow. 

"Why?" 

I felt my face heat up in embarrassment. Luckily my face would already be so bright red from the heat that he probably wouldn't notice. "If Eric had survived then we would have started our life together. We would have built a home and I would be living with him. I just want something that is my own." I looked down at the ground so I wouldn't have to look him in the eye. I chanced a glance up at his face and I was shocked to see him nodding in understanding. I didn't want to think about him understanding what I was doing so I returned to my ax. He was still standing there with an expression that told me his thoughts were far away. I waved at him expecting him to walk away as I bent down to grab the ax. I jumped back as his hand beat me to it. I hadn't even seen him move and suddenly he was at my side in a flash.