Abuse is an issue often whispered about in corners, or hidden behind through romantic movies and music. Depicted as the new normal, very few stand against it. This month we step out out of the shadows and we shine light on this topic that often leav...
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by Zaha @bobam1beaux
Stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Words will never hurt me? In the case of child abuse words are just as damaging as the stick and the stones. Child abuse is a topic which needs to be discussed more and made more aware to the general public. It is a wound that will almost never heal for a child who has been abused. There are many misconceptions when it comes to child abuse that need to be straightened out.
The first being that only physical abuse is to be intervened, yes physical abuse is very damaging and detrimental to a child and how they grow up into adults but emotional abuse is just as harmful. Why it is so is because it is less noticeable and therefore not detected and dealt with as much as physical abuse, how can we see the scars if they are on the inside? Emotional abuse can also lead to the child growing up with a very low self esteem due to the abuse of being called "worthless" and belittled. They may also have issues with regulating their emotions and may carry on the pattern of bottling up their emotions, which can spiral into depression in adulthood.
Another misconception is that child abuse is for the lower class families, child abuse is not confined to poor or working class families, it transcends all. Abused children aren't all from poor backgrounds as some might think, building the illusion that a struggling parent may take out their frustrations on their child. That is far from the case, we do not know what happens behind closed doors, and some happy homes may be far from what we imagine. The abuse of a child does not have to come from within the family, sometimes it may be a distant family member or even a stranger.
It does often appear that victims of abuse unconsciously repeat the cycle of abuse with their children, due to the fact that they've never known better and never experienced what a functional relationship between a parent and child should be like. On the other hand if and when the victim of abuse receives help and healing from their troubled childhood the cycle is often broken and they themselves strive to give their children the perfect homelife they never experienced, like self compensation. No one would want to end up being like the very same person who hurt them.
One of the main repercussions of child abuse is the lack of trust the victim has, due to the simple fact that they could not trust their parents. If you cannot trust the main figures in you lfe then who can you trust? Therefore they struggle with knowing whom to trust putting up walls between them and those they love as a precautionary measure to ensure they wont get hurt again. This can also make them emotionally closed off.
The scar the also carry with themselves is the feeling of being "worthless" and damaged. If you are always told that you are no good then you carry that around with you and feel lowly of yourself and not up to par with the others. This can lead to victims falling into jobs that may not pay enough due to the fact that to be successful you have to believe in yourself and believe highly of yourself and your abilities- how can you do so if there is a voice in you hear telling you that your "nothing"? These mental scars inhibit progress and hop for the future. Apart from mental scars physical scars can also be a painful reminder and bring back traumatic memories that can leave one feeling "damaged" or "unwanted". Survivors of abuse may struggle with anxiety, anger and even depression, which if untreated can leed them to seek refuge in drugs and alcohol.
A very common type of child abuse it chld neglect, this is when the parent is not meeting the needs of their child whether it be adequate food, clothing, or hygiene and even supervision. Child neglect may not be easy to spot as quite often the child begins to take charge, if their parent is not meeting their needs then they attempt to do so themselves in the midst becoming their own parent, this is very typical in older children. This neglect can be caused by numerous factors affecting the parent such as the inability to provide for their child due to physical or mental attributors like a serious injury, depression, mental illnesses and other times alcoholism and drug addiction which can cause them to make ill judgment choices .
One of the main way to notice and stop child abuse lays in our hands, we should not be bystanders and allow it to happen. If we have any suspicious we should not ignore them whether it be a family member or a classmate. The adults in a child's life should also be very vigilant especially teachers in school, neighbors and child supervisors. These are people who see the child abuse victims of a daily basis and can notice the slight telltale signs whether it be a change in behavior, bruises, ill fitting clothes and weight loss in the child which are signs of abuse. Most of the children fail to speak out on what is happening to them due to the fear instilled in them from their abusers, so it is our duty to speak out for them.
