Abuse is an issue often whispered about in corners, or hidden behind through romantic movies and music. Depicted as the new normal, very few stand against it. This month we step out out of the shadows and we shine light on this topic that often leav...
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Sexual Abuse on men
Sexual assault can happen to anyone, no matter your age, your sexual orientation, or your gender identity. Men and boys who have been sexually assaulted or abused may have many of the same feelings and reactions as other survivors of sexual assault, but they may also face some additional challenges because of social attitudes and stereotypes about men and masculinity.
Common reactions
Men and boys who have been sexually assaulted may experience the same of sexual assault as other survivors, and they may face other challenges that are more unique to their experience. Men who were sexually abused as boys or teens may respond differently than men who were sexually assaulted as an adult.
If something happened to you, know that you are not alone. The following list includes some of the common experiences shared by men and boys who have survived sexual assault. It is not a complete list, but it may help you to know that other people are having similar experiences:
Anxiety, , fearfulness, or
Concerns or questions about sexual orientation
Sense of blame or shame over not being able to stop the assault or abuse, especially if you experienced an erection or ejaculation
Feeling on-edge, being unable to relax, and having difficulty sleeping
Feel like "less of a man" or that you no longer have control over your own body
Avoiding people or places that are related to the assault or abuse
Fear of the worst happening and having a sense of a shortened future
Withdrawal from relationships or friendships and an increased sense of isolation
Who are the perpetrators of sexual assault against men and boys?
Perpetrators can be any gender identity, sexual orientation, or age, and they can have any relationship to the victim. Like all perpetrators, they might use physical force or psychological and emotional coercion tactics.
How does being assaulted affect sexual orientation?
Sexual assault is in no way related to the sexual orientation of the perpetrator or the survivor, and a person's sexual orientation cannot be caused by sexual abuse or assault. Some men and boys have questions about their sexuality after surviving an assault or abuse—and that's understandable. This can be especially true if the you experienced an erection or ejaculation during the assault. Physiological responses like an erection are involuntary, meaning you have no control over them.
Sometimes perpetrators, especially adults who sexually abuse boys, will use these physiological responses to maintain secrecy by using phrases such as, "You know you liked it." If you have been sexually abused or assaulted, it is not your fault. In no way does an erection invite unwanted sexual activity, and ejaculation in no way condones an assault.
