Abuse is an issue often whispered about in corners, or hidden behind through romantic movies and music. Depicted as the new normal, very few stand against it. This month we step out out of the shadows and we shine light on this topic that often leav...
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by @AmandaTayteTait
When many are asked they seem to believe that coping is just a matter of leaving, a matter of standing up for yourself. What many seem to not realize is that, the pain created by abuse cannot be scaled nor described. The violation whether physically, mentally or emotionally can be something that haunts you for years to come. Here are a few coping mechanisms to help you through the hard times.
Coping With Flashbacks
Flashbacks are recollections from the past. They may be pictures, sounds, smells, feelings, or the lack of them (numbness). Sometimes there is no actual visual or auditory memory. You may feel panicky, or trapped, you may feel powerless without knowing why. These experiences can also happen in dreams.
As a child you had to protect yourself from the emotional and physical horrors of abuse. In order to survive, that child remained locked inside, unable to express the feelings and thoughts of that time. It is as though we put that part of us into a time warp until it comes out in the present.
When that part comes out, the child in you is experiencing the past as if it were happening today. As the flashback happens, it is as if you forget that you have an 'adult' self-available for comfort, protection and grounding. The extreme feelings and body sensations occurring are so frightening because they are not related to the reality of the present and often seem to come from out of the blue.
We begin to think we are crazy and are afraid of telling anyone about what is happening. We feel out of control and at the mercy of our experiences.
We begin to avoid certain areas and situations, that we think triggered it. Sometimes flashbacks occur during any form of sexual contact, or it may be a person who looks or behaves and reminds you of the person who abused you, or it may be a situation today that stirs up similar trapped feelings (confrontation, angry people).
If you are feeling little... you may be experiencing a flashback. If you are having stronger feelings than you expect to have in the present situation ... you are probably having a flashback
Flashbacks Are Normal
Flashbacks are sometimes called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
The diagnostic category book for psychiatry defines Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as the normal experience of all people experiencing an event that is outside the range of normal human experience.
Flashbacks sometimes make you feel insane because the child in you doesn't know that there is an adult survivor available to help.
What Does Help?
Tell yourself that you are having a flashback.
Remind yourself that the worst is over. The feelings and sensations you are experiencing are memories of the past.
Get Grounded. This means stamping your feet on the ground so that the child knows you have feet and can get away now if you need to. (As a child, you couldn't get away........ now you can).
