Counting Stars and Scars {Kellic}

10. How Will You Fix Me Now?

{Song- Fix Me by Marianas Trench}

It's been a few weeks since Kellin and I have gotten together. Everything is going perfectly, and it's the happiest I've been in a long time. We're not exactly public with our relationship, but most people can guess. They don't care, though. Thank god our school is open like that. (Except for Ronnie, who still hasn't made a move yet. I think he's too scared of Kellin to do anything.)

Currently, it's Wednesday, and Kellin and I are sitting at the lunch table with our friends. He's holding my hand, our twined hands sitting on his thigh.

"I swear, you guys are so cute I want to barf rainbows," our friend Tony says through a mouthful of pizza.

"Dude, eat with your mouth shut," Jaime, another friend, tells him.

Tony sticks his tongue out, chewed up pizza and all, and Jaimie screws his face up in disgust.

I'm blushing from Tony's comment and try to pull my hand from Kellin's, embarrassed, but he doesn't let me. I playfully glare at him as he holds my fingers between both his hands now, smirking at me.

"Seriously, guys," Tony says after finishing his pizza slice. "Cut it out or I really will barf."

"I'd like to see that, actually," Jaime says. He runs a hand through his spikey hair and looks down at the uneaten piece of pizza on his plate. "Hey, does anyone want this pizza? I already had three."

Kellin looks over at me with a questioning look in his eyes. "You haven't eaten yet, Vic. You want it?"

I can tell he's asking more than that, but doesn't want to say it in front of our friends. I look at the pizza, feeling like I should eat but really not wanting to. Even though I've been doing better, it's still a habit I can't seem to break. After looking at the pizza for a few moments, I decide that if I eat I'll just end up wanting to throw it back up again. It's one of those days where, even though I only ate a couple pop tarts this morning, I still feel gross.

"I'm not really hungry, actually," I say quietly.

Kellin's eyebrows furrow. "Vic," he says. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." I nod. "I'll eat later, I promise."

He doesn't believe me. Neither of us are paying attention to Jaime and Tony at this point. "What have you eaten today?" he asks quietly.

"Not much," I mutter.

He sighs. "Babe, you have to eat more."

"I'm not hungry," I say again, getting slightly annoyed (even though I love the way he called me babe.) I pull my hand from his clasp.

"Vic-"

"Kellin, just drop it, ok?" I snap, voice growing louder. "I told you I'd eat later."

There's a tense silence as I realize that maybe I shouldn't have gotten so angry. Kellin just looks at me with hurt in his eyes, and I glance over to see both Jaime and Tony staring at us.

"Uh," Jaime says slowly. "Everything ok?"

"Sorry." I stare at the table. "I'm just cranky."

"You don't have to eat the pizza if you're not feeling pizza today..." Jaime says, not quite understanding what's going on here.

"I have to go to the bathroom," I mutter, abruptly standing up and walking quickly off to the bathrooms.

I find one a ways away from the cafeteria in hopes that Kellin doesn't come after me. It's deserted, and I breathe a sigh of relief, finally alone.