17- Band-Aid

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I awaken to whispering voices and small feet running around, I take in a huge breath like I have never breathed before. My first breath coming up for air in a long time. My gasp for air causes the talking to stop, more footsteps my way. I'm trying to open my eyes and I succeed only to be blinded by a light.


I flinch away and my eyes shut again, whoever is now beside me barks a command,
"Close the fucking shades."


I flinch away from him too.


"Alex, baby." Hands cup my face, warm breath blows across my cheeks. "Open your eyes again sweetheart."


And I do, immediately, She wants to please him, do whatever he asks.


I am met with steel blue grey eyes, staring intently at my face. Searching my face for something, I'm not sure what.


I know him, he is familiar. His touch brings small sparks of awareness, I am hyper aware of all of him. Why is this? What is this?


I have never felt this before.


I don't understand, why am I like this? What happened to me?


Where are my children?


"Who are you?" I manage to ask, my voice croaky my throat constricted.


I see the hurt in his eyes, he pulls away a little – a look flashes across his face one I can't decipher. All too soon it's gone, hes offering me water. I nod, feeling immense relief when the water hits my throat.


She wants me to apologise to him, for causing him pain. I feel bad even though I didn't mean it – but at the same time he has hurt me even if I don't remember how exactly. The doctor has come he is checking my pulse, feeling my skin. As he does his checks my claustraphobia increases. I want to be out of here, I need to move.


A few more unbearable minutes, pass my heart is beating erratically I cant do this anymore.


"Please...stop." I ask pathetically.


He stills and after casting a glance at Theo. Theo! My mate! Who nods his consent, the doctor leaves us but I cant seem to calm down.


I'm hyperventilating.


"What's wrong?"


"I..I...I'd like some air...I ." I hate this, asking someone else, relying on someone else.


Effortlessly, he scoops me up ensuring I'm wrapped up well, and we sit beside the open
window. I love the feel of the breeze on my skin, flowing through my hair. We sit in silence, looking out into the garden, I lean against him as his hands wrap around my waist.


This is nice.


I awake to complete darkness, I find myself too hot with warmth coming from all over. Where from I have no idea, I need to move, a shower would be nice. Seeing my babies would be wonderful.


Do I want to try to move again after the epic fail that was the last time?


Somehow, I feel better now, more revitalised.


Slowly, I shuffle out of bed, out of Theo's grasp towards the edge. I'm amazed that I can move this much I feel like I have moved across hectares of land not just a few centimeters. Yet there is a small voice at the back of my mind that is wary of this new found ability to move especially as I had such difficulty before.


I cant help but think how?


Maybe it is Theo's wolf helping me heal?


But wouldn't we need a bond for that to happen?


Wait...


My mood changes drastically as my heart drops to my stomach, not wanting to believe what my mind has conjured up. I'm trying not to panic but am now shaking so much.


Okay breathe, get yourself to the bathroom ...


...to the mirror.


Do I want to do this, in the middle of the night?


Well, yes really.


I need to know.


I manage to fumble myself to the bathroom, flicking the switch on, shaking so much I'm finding it hard to keep my balance. I fumble toward the mirror, holding onto the sink basin for dear life. Butterflies errupt in my stomach, I want to know and yet I don't at the same time.


But I know though, deep down.

I just need to see it.


Taking a moment to steady myself, deep breathe and look straight into the mirror. There's no sugar coating this, let's just do it. Like a band-aid less painful when done faster.


I'm wrong.


I'm so wrong.


It is in no way easier.


As when my eyes see the red blotchy bruise on the base of my neck I let out a soundless scream, suddenly feeling very light headed. I have a vice like grip on the basin afraid that I'll fall if I didn't.


I can't breathe.


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