Chapter 26

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26. GOODBYES

 Drowsily, Senna watched as light and shadow played hide and seek through the leaves. She'd wanted more, but Joshen had stopped it before they'd gone too far. Still, her lips felt bruised and her cheeks slightly tender from the few days' growth on Joshen's face—but it was a welcome pain. She was within Espen's realm now and she didn't care. Nor was she afraid. In fact, this was the happiest she'd ever felt.

 "How could a woman like you love a man like me?" Senna turned to see Joshen watching her as she'd watched the shadows.

"I've been wondering the same about you."

He lifted himself up on his elbow. "You can't mean that."

She shrugged as she traced the outline of his jaw, loving how strong and muscular he was.

He watched her carefully. "What you said about Ciara, you actually meant it? I thought it was just the bump to your head?"

Senna sighed. "She is so beautiful—"

He pulled her roughly into his arms. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on, Senna. And I won't hear you berate yourself. You do it far too often."

"You really think I'm beautiful?" she murmured.

"Yes," he said tenderly.

Senna waited for a sign he didn't mean it, but she saw only naked honesty in his eyes. Desni had been right. And if this was her only day left, she'd spend it in Joshen's arms. When evening came, everything would be different. With a sigh, she fell asleep listening to Joshen's heartbeat.

Just after sunset, she lifted her head and studied Joshen's peaceful face until his eyes blinked open. He looked at her with a smile. "Mornin' beautiful."

She rested her chin on his chest. "Actually, I think it's night."

He stroked her hair. "So, what do we do tonight?"

Senna sighed and looked away. The enchantment was over. Brushing herself off, she stood. "I need you to trust me."

He eyed her warily. "And the catch?"

"I've had nightmares every night for over a year. For the first time in a long time, my dreams have been untroubled and I ... I want to thank you for that."

"Senna," he warned as he stood to face her. "It sounds a lot like you're saying goodbye."

She forced herself to hold her ground. "I am."

His brows drew down dangerously. "Senna, you promised—"

"I won't stop you from coming," she interrupted. "I'm just asking you not to." His stance relaxed. She hurried on, "If you come with me, I'll have to protect myself and you." She took a deep breath and blew it out. "If she captures you, I'll surrender. It's that simple."

"Senna, you can't. Everyone needs—"

"What everyone else needs won't matter. I can't watch her torture and kill you any more than you could watch her hurt me."

His eyes widened. "You love me that much?"

"Yes," she replied. "And knowing that you're alive somewhere ... would comfort me during my imprisonment."

"You say it like it's already happened," he said in exasperation.

How could she make him understand? "Somehow, Espen is gleaning strength from the other Witches. She's much stronger than I. And more experienced in a duel. She's defeated every Witch, alone or in groups, who has ever crossed her path. This was never about winning, it was about ending it." There, she'd said it. The truth she'd been avoiding for so long.

He gestured back the way they'd come. "If you can't win, come with me. We'll hide from her and—"

"No." She shook her head, her voice gentle, but firm. "I won't be a coward. Her defeat is not impossible, only difficult. I must try." She felt the tears in her eyes and wished she could banish them. "For my mother. And the others."

Joshen wrapped her in his arms and kissed her in a way that almost convinced her to run with him. To spend whatever time remained loving him. But the magical day had ended and reality was staring her down. When their lips parted, Senna rested her forehead against his. "Please, Joshen. Please stay. Wait for three days. If I don't come back, find a way out of here and live your life."

"I'll stay," he finally managed, though his voice broke. "But I won't leave. If you don't come back, I'll come get you, even if only to join you."

Senna looked away, knowing he still didn't understand. "You can't come where she'll take me. Understand ... if she wins, I'll only see you again if I agree to join her. And I never will."

"Senna, I can't abandon you."

She gripped his arms. "You have to. It will be all I have left."

He bowed his head and Senna could tell he was trying not to cry. It tore at her heart, but this, her fate, had been awaiting her for years. She was beyond mourning it now. In a way, it was a relief. The end drew near. All that mattered was Joshen's safety.

"All right," he finally relented.

Relieved, Senna gripped him tightly. "I need to hear you promise it, Joshen. Please."

"I promise," he managed.

Drawing herself up on her tiptoes, she kissed him. She stepped back and tried to burn his image into her mind. It would be both a comfort and a torture; but not being able to remember his face would be worse. "Goodbye, Joshen."

"Goodbye, Senna."

It was hard, so very hard to pick up her pack and walk away from him. But each step she took made it easier. She paused to look at him once more before he was obscured by the trees. He stood like granite, his fists and jaw clenched tight. Tears flowed freely down his face. He made no attempt to brush them away.

A sob caught in Senna's throat. After all they'd been through, she'd never seen him cry. But he had cried for her. He loved her. And it made what she was about to face that much easier and that much harder. Easier because she wasn't alone. Harder because now she had something to lose.

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