My Xenomorph

CH 12: Lost

I sobbed and shook uncontrollably against a tree, hugging my knees and whimpering for several minutes.

Xaez was sitting in front of me, he was watching with his head tilted, he didn't seem to know what to do.

I didn't look at him, I didn't want to see him after what happened to Prone. I covered my blood stained face with my hands and tried to speak, "Wh-... Xaez W-"  I choked on the words and cried again.

Xaez crooned softly. I still didn't look up at him.

I cried for a few hours until I finally ran out of tears. Now I was staring at the dirt with Xaez in my peripheral view. The image of Prone's head exploding was still engraved in my mind, I shook my head to try and get it out but it wouldn't go away.

My guns were still holstered and I looked down at them. 'Xaez killed Prone... he killed him... he didn't even seem to hesitate, my friend just killed my other friend. The one who was like my dad...' My hands clenched into fists. 'I should kill him... If he killed Prone then if I find someone else that I like he'll kill them too.'

I whimpered and looked up at Xaez. He looked at me expectantly and hissed. 'He killed him.' I looked back down at my holsters. I unholstered one of the pistols and sat it down on my lap. 'But Xaez is the only one I have left.'

'Just do it and get it over with, you can't trust him anymore.' Xaez was staring now, his mouth was closed and he seemed to be a little tense.

'You have to do it.' I tried to convince myself, lifting the pistol. I stood up and backed up toward the tree. I lifted it up just a bit and brought it back down again, 'You have to.' I held my breath and aimed it at Xaez.

Now Xaez snarled and stood up as well. His teeth were bared and his claws were raised but he didn't attack me. His tail wasn't moving at all, it was lying on the ground.

"You kn- You know I have to." Tears began to run down my face again, "You killed my friend Xaez!" I walked closer to him close enough that I could shoot him in the head and not miss. Xaez screeched lowered his claws, he stared at me and repeatedly hissed.

'Just do it now before he tries something, you know he will.' I held my breath as more tears ran down my face. 'But I can't, he's the only one I have left, he protected me and saved me from the other Xenomorphs, if I kill him I won't have anyone left.'

I whimpered and whispered to myself, "I have too."

Xaez took a few steps forward, he was close enough that he could grab me now. I tensed up and held the pistol more tightly, "Please Xaez, I want this to be easy, you know I have to." 'But he's my friend too'.

Xaez growled lowly and lowered his head a little so that his was level with mine. It seemed that he was just waiting now, waiting for me to take the shot and end it once and for all. But I still had the gun aimed and kept trying to convince myself to do it.

'You know what he did, nothing will bring Prone back, he's irrplaceable and you know it. He killed the last human friend you had and now you're alone with this Alien with you're gun to his head, just pull the trigger and walk away.'

But that other side kept fighting me.

'Xaez is your friend, you kill him you'll be lost and alone. He killed Prone but he protected you and saved you, you know it. You can't kill him now, where else can you go on your own? You'll die without him.'

I put my finger to the trigger and put the tip of the gun against his head, I knew that his blood would hit me but I didn't care anymore, I already had one of my friends blood on me. I sucked in another breath and closed my eyes while flicking off the safety.