A Rose By Any Other Name (A Sasuke Uchiha Story)

Chapter 42.

Sasuke contemplated following her as she turned and dissipated into the forest, but after a moment he shook it off and let her be. Clearly Mei wanted to be alone—to get some space and clear her head, and going after her and continuing to talk wouldn't help. It was best to let her be—they both needed to calm down, after all. Things had changed a lot for them in the past couple of weeks, and it was taking them time to adapt. They were just trying to deal with everything that had happened, and ultimately it had built up into an argument. True, the first confrontation they'd had wasn't exactly how Sasuke had thought things would be, considering both of their personalities, but for so long they'd been silent with the situation, though it was often on his mind—and Sasuke got the feeling that Mei was going through the same. What she had said rang in his mind, but slowly as he turned and walked away his anger turned to mere frustration, not wanting things to continue like this, but without the understanding or experience to know what to do, it left them at a stalemate. Still, as Sasuke continued walking, he couldn't help but wonder if maybe their argument would help things along. Now they'd got it out in the open, even if it had been just an argument, they understood each others worries, and if they took the chance to calm down after their confrontation, it would mean they could face each other again and actually talk about it rationally.

So Sasuke didn't pass another thought to what Mei might be feeling.

Of course, if he had, he might have acted differently, but instead Mei was left to stride forward through the forest, ignoring the darkness or how far she might end up from their camp, a frown on her face as she tried to push things aside—but nothing seemed to work. Mei wasn't the kind of person to let things get to her easily, especially when it came down to others opinions and things they possibly say to her. But as much as Mei tried to deny it and brush it off while she continued on through the trees, Sasuke's words had hurt her—and much more than she had ever thought possible. How could he? He ignored what she had been worried about, merely retorting with an accusation towards her, brought up her past—which was something she hated thinking about, let alone talk about—and in a bad way, and dismissed everything they'd been through. All the feelings that had developed between them, or what Mei had thought had developed. She had agreed to train Sasuke after so much time of refusing to do so with anyone, and then agreed to leave the place she had lived all her life in order to continue to train him while he could continue searching for his brother and carry out his goal. Yet with what Sasuke had said, it merely seemed like he didn't care Mei had done all that. That he didn't care she had come with him.

If anything, it appeared Sasuke was beginning to wish she hadn't—that now they were back with Hebi and getting back into that sort of routine—it was finally occurring to Sasuke that he'd rushed into it. That, when he really thought about it, he didn't really like Mei that way, and maybe never had. It was merely a case of pitying her after what she'd been through with Uragiri. That Sasuke might have connected with her with the idea she wanted revenge after what had happened in her childhood, but it wasn't a connection that would lead to anything more. Spending so much time together and allowing Mei to train him in a way he had never done with anyone else had merely got him caught up in the situation, but now everything was returning to normal, and Sasuke was seeing things for what they really were. As Mei went on walking through the trees, frowning at the space in front of her and not knowing where she was planning on going, she fought between anger, frustration and sadness, not wanting to give into any of them. She had always been a taciturn, aloof person, and she didn't want it to change now because of Sasuke—especially because of recent events. Only it seemed hard to do so, his words and her thoughts swirling around her and refusing to quieten down. For a moment Mei managed to glance around in the direction she had come from, just about managing to spot a flicker of light in the distance, and knowing Sasuke would be sitting around a fire with the rest of his team—Mei made her decision.

When they had been travelling to reach Hebi and reunite to continue on with their journey, Mei had baulked with all the doubts that had come into her mind, suddenly feeling that she couldn't go on and needed to go back to the valley and the dojo. It hadn't taken long for Sasuke to come back for her, however, catching up and talking with her, making her see that her doubts were nothing and she could keep going. But things were different now. Mei's doubts might have dissipated with their conversation back then, but Sasuke wasn't about to help confront the issues they were dealing with now. Mei was pretty sure Sasuke wouldn't be about to follow her—he hadn't done so far, so why would he do so as time passed? He had reunited with Hebi, and could go on with his journey just like he had been before Mei had turned up. The way he was acting he wasn't about to miss her, even if she had been training him. It was all he wanted, but like she had seen from the start when she had first met him, he'd get over it. He liked doing things alone. Mei paused to wonder why she had ever thought Sasuke was worthy enough to receive her training, but shook her head to get rid of the thought—she should have known. So she'd go back. Now Uragiri was dead she had worked past that issue, and she could accept people to be trained. She'd find someone worthy this time.

It was with these thoughts that Mei straightened her posture, her frown disappearing and being replaced with the usual emotionless mask she always carried, and her determination rising. She had made her choice, and there was no point hesitating in carrying it out. Mei didn't glance back anymore and she picked up her pace, not bothering to collect any supplies. She would be able to get those on her own, and she had no possessions to take with her in the meantime. It left her completely free to head off straight away, and Mei wasn't about to wait. She'd had enough of the atmosphere that surrounded them as they travelled; enough of the situation that they'd ended up in, and enough of Sasuke's attitude towards the whole thing. Mei had developed, as a person by leaving the valley and seeing what was out there, having never had the chance to do so before and never wanting to when she was still dealing with the revenge that had plagued her for so many years—but it was time to go back to where she was needed. Where she would actually be appreciated for the training she was carrying out. It was clear there was nothing holding her back here, and nothing to stop her from doing so.

And somehow, with this train of thought, it wasn't as hard to push her concerns out of her mind anymore. All the time Mei had been walking so many thoughts had been swirling around in her head, threatening to overwhelm her in a way Mei never wanted to have to deal with. Now, however, and they had cleared. How things had gone with Sasuke over the past few days and what he had said back then hadn't fully gone away, true, but any doubts about whether she should go or stay no longer affected her. This was what she wanted to do, and there was no reason whatsoever she shouldn't go through with it. Sasuke could find someone else to train him—if anything, with their conversation he'd probably find it easier. With everything they'd been through together it had evidently made things difficult for him, so with Mei out of the way he could get back to training without having their situation getting in the way. It was a consideration that cemented her decision, and caused her to now fall into a running pace. True, there wasn't any particular need to hurry when she wouldn't have to deal with anyone following her, but Mei would rather get back sooner rather than later.

Maybe the gravity of what Mei had done would hit her a little later. There was clearly a possibility she wouldn't be able to stop the images of just how Sasuke would react when he realised she was gone and wasn't coming back. But if anything, they would only force her onwards, more determined and more set on carrying out her plans. Mei wouldn't admit to herself they would make her upset, unable to think of any other result than Sasuke shrugging his shoulders and not doing a thing about it—merely telling everyone to pack everything up and forget about it. That it would simply be too much effort to go after her when Mei wasn't necessary, and not even passing a thought as to what had happened between them and how things had supposed to have been. Mei wouldn't let herself be upset, wishing that what she had heard Sasuke say merely being a dream and knowing that if given the chance she would choose staying with him over leaving without needing much hesitation. But if Sasuke wasn't going to make any effort with this, even after Mei had let down her guard for him, then why should she stay? She was better off without him—yet there remained a part of her that knew she didn't want it to be that way. Regardless of being a naturally distant emotionless person, after being alone so long and having no one understand, only for Sasuke to show up...it had made her realise that, deep down, maybe she wanted someone there. But he didn't care, and so she continued on through the darkness of the forest.

She didn't notice the tears falling as she did so.