Tiara.

6. Change

TIARA

Everyone at school stares at me. Some even thought I was a new student. Did I really looked awful then for them not to know me now? Oh, I remember, I was invisible when I was a geek. No one actually cared asides from Bianca and Nate.

Now, everything changed, I even got invited to a house party. I missed partying, shouting like you don't care about your throat, being drunk with other people - since I've been a bitch, I usually get drunk alone and will end up whining. All good memories flashed back in an instant. I want to do all the crazy stuffs with a happy feeling. I want to take all the hatred away especially the hate I'm feeling for myself. Starting this day, I'm a whole new person. I don't want my past to be a big burden. I hope days like this never ends.

I declined that invitation cause I remember I'll be doing programming project at Athan's place. Good thing I remembered, I don't want to fail any subject just because I look cool. I will still keep that nerdy inside me. It's a part of me, just like the bitch I'm hiding. How ironic, a nerd and a bitch in one person. What does that make me?

At the cafeteria, I saw Athan together with his friends. I don't usually notice him here, the reason I did now is because all of his friends are looking at me and Bianca, like they've  all seen a unearthly creature.

"T! You're indeed a head-turner! I told you you we're gorgeous. This is just like high school isn't it?" said Bianca and continues "Look at Athan, he's staring at you."

I didn't tell Bianca that I noticed that even before she said it. Athan is looking at me from head to toe, with his mouth slightly open. He looks so funny. I was about to burst into laughter but then Bianca prevented me.

"Remember what we always do in high school?" she looked at me with full of meaning, I can clearly understand what she's talking about. This is how close we've become, we could communicate just by having an eye-to-eye contact.

"Of course I do B! Let's do it, shall we?" I said with a huge smile, I missed this feeling. Feeling free and careless.

"You're really back bitch!" she said that with full of excitement. I know she missed doing crazy stuffs with me just like I did. I lost my sense of humor ever since I became a whatever-you-call-it.

We walked towards Athan and his friends, trying to look more attractive while walking, his friends looked at different directions but Athan, he remained looking still, like he doesn't even notice I'm getting closer to him.

"Love what you're seeing huh?" I teased then I heard Bianca chuckled.

"In your dreams!" Athan said

"Ooh, you might want to close that cute mouth of yours while looking at my friend. You are welcoming a bug in there." Bianca teased him even more. "I should've took a picture of you with your mouth open, it was priceless! It could even be on 9gag."

Then his friends starts to laugh tremendously. Bianca and I laughed as well. I looked at Athan and he's speechless. At least I had my revenge with what he said last Saturday. I'm sure he didn't mean it when he said he likes me. C'mon, I look hideous that moment he's claiming interest for me. I'm positive that he's just trippin' so I might as well give it back.

"Ok, seriously, I came here to say that I'll meet you after school at the main gate. Then we could go straight to your place." I said to make his embarrassment end.

"Okay." he murmured.

"Oohh, ner.. uhh.. Tiara, you'll be at his place later?" one of his friends asks

"Yes, we have something to do...." I was about to finish my sentence when his friends teased us with "Awwwww! I smell something..", some even sang "You are the only exception..." I wonder why they sang that. Maybe it has a meaning to Athan's past. Shouldn't matter anyway.

"It's just a project you jerks! we happen to be group mates. c'mon, stop embarrassing your friend right here." I said, teasingly, and then looked back at Athan "..so, I'll you later then?"

He nodded and smiled at me.

He acted strange that moment, not that I know him so much, it's just that I expect him to save his self from all the embarrassment but instead he kept in silence and just smiled the whole time he was being teased. Is he really that kinda' guy? I didn't expect him to be that shy.

While we're eating, I saw Bianca trying to fight a smile to form on her face but she's failing cause I am clearly noticing it.

"Why are you smiling?" I asked her

She gave me a piece of paper, still smiling but doesn't try to hide it any longer, when I looked at the paper, I read it aloud and it says "You're stunning. I want to hang out, let's meet after class at the main gate."

"OH MY!!! Who's this from B?" I asked enthusiastically 

"Chuck. Chuck Lewis."

"I don't know who the hell is that!" I said still full of enthusiasm

"It's Athan's best pal, how could you not know?" Bianca murmured.

 "I don't care, he's good, he writes that fast and gave it to you without anybody noticing? That's talent! Haha! Are you gonna meet up with him later?" I teased her

"No." she said "You know, Nate's been in my heart for so long. He can't replace that, but I am really flattered with what he did. But you know me, I'm faithful to my Natie." she said that like she was in a fairytale.

"Stop daydreaming, Nate still haven't confessed yet." I interrupted her from daydreaming.

"He will, eventually, you'll see." Bianca said with voice full of assurance.

Bianca deserves to have her own fairytale, to have her very own prince charming. I know that life isn't fair but for Bianca, I know it will be. I want her to be happy so I very supportive when it comes to her all time crush, Nate. They look cute together that's why I always find my way out of the scene whenever Nate's with us. It's my little way of helping them have their time together. 

I am contented to Bianca's love life, hearing all her silly talks and imaginations about her and Nate makes me feel like I have one too but in reality I know I wouldn't have a bit of that.

In the road I took, I know I won't be able to recorrect my mistakes. That's just how it goes, I have to accept the fact that I made a choice that will always haunt me, there's no backing out now, that choice is a part of who I am. I may not deserve a man's true love but I know I deserve to live a life I've always wanted.