Skinny Love (Jesse Pinkman)

Chapter 14

'I'm bleeding out, so if the last thing that I do is bring you down, I'll bleed out for you. So I bear my skin and I count my sins and I close my eyes and I take it in.' - Imagine Dragons, Bleeding Out

The thirst was agonising. But listening to Jesse and Mr White was agonising to a different level.

"I deserve this." Mr White exclaimed, his head between his hands as Jesse glanced over to him.

"Everything you've done Mr White.. it's all for your family." He shook his head with a comforting smile that I remembered well. A little too well.

"All I've done for my family is worry and disappoint them." Mr White got up and looked out onto the desert as I tucked my knees under my chin.

"All the lies... I can't even keep them straight in my head anymore." Rubbing at his mouth he let out a rumbling cough, before strolling into the RV with a slam. It was dark now, and the only light source we had was the tiny fire we'd made from dry plants, stray stones and the lighter in my purse.

"Why.. Why did you let him in on this?" I shook my head to Jesse in disgust, "He's a good man. I mean even for you this is low how could you be so damn selfish?!"

"Alright, yo- first off, the guy came to ME. He needed the dough and turns out he can make the best meth in the state, if you were offered over half a rock would you really say no? Huh?" Jesse spat.

"What's worse- him dying and his family being without money or you two getting caught and his wife and kids having to deal with the fact he died in prison a criminal? Really?" I squinted my eyes in hatred. This was just the kind of selfishness that had drove me away from him. Well... you know apart from being a walking shooting range for pissed cartel members.

"Look he has his reasons I have mine.. it's none of your freaking business so keep out, alright?" He snapped.

"And you still wonder why I left you. The only person here that deserves this is you and as usual because you don't want to be a failure all on your own you have to bring everyone around you down to bite the bullet." As soon as the words left my mouth I knew he'd be hurt. His face had dropped and his eyes looked glazed, I felt almost guilty.

"I never wanted you to leave." He said weakly, his voice croaky.

"You never stopped me."

"You were hurt and it was all my fault, I put you through so much, you wanted to get married and settle down and- Mila, could I really give you all that? We went on benders for days on end do you really think that was a place for a kid?" Well, that one hurt.

"I guess I figured you'd change if I got pregnant, I had a career! I was waiting on you but-"

"But you couldn't resist every time I offered a hit, could you? It wasn't just me." Jesse said gravely with a 'told you so' grin- there was nothing I could say. He was right.

***

"Baby it's not even that bad... I swear come on baby look at me your okay I'm here nothing is gonna happen to you" Jesse said breathlessly as he pressed his foot harder onto the egnition, the revving of the engine getting louder and louder.

"I wanna go home... please take me home Jesse please..." I shivered, there was blood all over me, my shoulder pulsated and burned as my vision slowly started to deteriorate. I felt my eyelids getting heavier and heavier by the second.

"I'm gonna get you home baby I'm gonna get you home.." he placed his hand on my cheek. It felt warm.

"I can't-" my head drooped, hot blood trickled down the hand that was holding the gaping skin of my shoulder together.

"NO NO NO NO keep your eyes open! You stay with me! We're here baby we're here I got you-" the car slammed to a halt as the sound of Jesse scrambling out and around the car to my side informed me we were at the hospital.

"Okay work with me here-" he grunted as he swung my door open and I slumped out of the passenger seat and into his arms. Cradling me to his chest he murmured sweet nothings into my ear as he slammed the door shut with his foot and I glanced up at the sky. It was a dark inky blue emblazoned with thousands of silver stars. I'd never seen a sky like it. If this was the last view I'd see, I couldn't have wished for anything more beautiful. Suddenly- the blinding white light of the hospital hit me and pulled me from my haven, Jesse's voice bellowing.

"SHE'S BEEN SHOT I NEED A DOCTOR- SHE'S LOST A LOT OF BLOOD- GET ME A FUCKING DOCTOR!" He screamed, the next few seconds a blur. I was placed onto a soft surface, and the sensation of moving almost as fast as being in a car took over, the echo of a dozen running footsteps filling my ears. The pain was blinding.

"Stay behind sir, she's going to need emergency surgery to remove the bullet and stem the bleeding. We'll inform you on whatever happens." A stern voice spoke as my hand broke from his.

"NO- I need to go with her- MILA! MILA! LET ME GO WITH HER SHE NEEDS ME IT'S MY FAULT IT'S MY FAULT-" Jesse wailed as his cries got further and further away.

"Jesse-" I squeaked, my hand clawing at a passing wall- the white paint now stained with red.

***
Accepting defeat, I stood up.

"I'm going to try and get some shut eye. Hopefully I'll die in my sleep so I don't have to look at you any longer." I announced, walking towards the RV. It was humid and reeked in there- but I'd take that over an anaconda (or whatever the hell was out there in the desert) slithering up my asshole.

"Yeah screw off."

"Make like a tree and die in a fire."

"Eat shit."

"Go graze on your mother's ass hair."

"Oh I'm sorry I had one fuck left to give and I left it over there." Jesse pointed behind him as I flipped him off and climbed into the RV.

A/N:

Sorry for a bit of a sad chapter, I'm trying to update as much as possible to make up for my year of no updating 😂 Hope your enjoying, don't forget to comment and vote! ~ Cat.