KageyamaxReader

I Don't Mind the Mess

(Y/N)'s POV

I face the window as my teacher drones on about some assignment. I can't focus today, no matter how hard I try. But Tsuki's looking worse than I am. He hasn't made one snarky comment all day. I guess he's feeling bad about loosing just like everyone else, even though he's trying to hide it.

Kageyama and Hinata were both like that this morning too. They were both angry and disappointed in themselves. Kageyama and Hinata ran around the gym yelling and throwing volleyballs for more than an hour. While I just sat there watching.

There was no way I could feel the same as them. As close as I am to the team, in reality I'm not a part of them. I'm on the outside looking in. Still.. I want to connect with them, but I can't. It wouldn't be fair to them if-

"(L/N)?" the teacher calls from the front of the room.

I stand up, then grab the book and recite the paragraph in english to her.

•••

I lean against the vending machine waiting for Kageyama, but after ten minutes he doesn't come. Confused, I buy his usual milk, and go to his classroom in search of him.

"Kageyama already left sorry.. he went with Hinata somewhere." a girl with long brown hair tells me, "But as his girlfriend shouldn't you know that?"

"I'm not his girlfriend." I glare at her, as she cowers away back to her group of friends.

I look down at the milk carton in my hand, and walk over to his desk. I set it down before heading back to my classroom.

In the hallway I pass by Sugawara, and I stop to talk with him.

I tell him about Kageyama and Hinata this morning and he nods before telling me, "You know, everyone on the team feels like that, I'm sure you do too, even if it's not about loosing the volleyball game, sometimes you just need to get all of that out. Isn't there something that makes you want to do that?"

I think back to middle school.. the team- and nod.

"It's different for everyone though. You wouldn't see me running around the gym, but I get it out other ways. So does Asahi and Noya and Tanaka and Shimizu."

"I'm happy Kageyama has friends like you. Friends that he can feel all of these things with. All of these emotions that are so extreme and-"

"You have friends like that too (L/N). I'm sure you could have that with everyone on the team if you just allowed it, instead of blocking yourself out-"

I take a step back, glaring at him. Who is he to tell me something like that?

The bell rings, and for once I'm grateful.

"Don't want to be late." I mumble as I turn to leave.

Kageyama's POV

I come back to my desk to find a milk carton sitting on it.

"Your girl left that here for you, she was in a pissy mood, nearly gave Sukishita over there a panic attack, after she intimidated her." Inumuta tells me leaning back in his seat, "I can see why you gave her the slip. But now that I think about it you two are pretty similar."

"She's not 'my girl'" I glare at him, as I sit down and start drinking the carton (L/N) left me.

I feel bad knowing she was looking for me, I thought she had enough of me after this morning. And if she bought me milk, she was waiting at the vending machine. Damnit. I hope she's not angry..

•••

She didn't show up to practice with us like she usually did. Maybe she is angry. I sigh and roll over in my bed, and stare at the window, hoping that she'll tumble in through it like usual.

Nothing.

I try texting her

"You're not barging in tonight?"

Then she responds

"No dumbass, exams are coming up and I have to study."

I roll my eyes,

"You've never needed to study a day in your life, what's going on?"

I wait for a response but don't get one. I naively hope her phone died, instead of her not wanting to talk to me.

Then my phone finally buzzes

"I saw Mikane after school today."

So that's it.

I open my window, and reach across the gap to open hers, before crawling inside. I haven't been in her room in years, she usually barges into my house before I have the chance to come to hers. It's messy and cluttered, as expected, and (F/N) is sitting at her desk with headphones on. I tap her on the shoulder as she jumps.

When she turns around I see her face is streaked with tears.

She punches me in the arm before wiping at her eyes.

"Sorry it's such a mess." she mumbles as she gets up.

I wrap my arms around her as she sinks to the ground.

"I don't mind the mess." I tell her.

Her laugh is muffled by my chest, and she looks up to me smiling.

"Want to talk about it?" I ask her.

"Nope."

I nod and sit on her bed with her. We just sit next to each other without saying a word, it's comfortable though, not awkward. I know exactly what she's feeling, without her having to say it. And I can imagine exactly how the exchange between her and Mikane went.

"As long as you didn't hit her it's fine."

"I wanted to though Tobio. I really did."

"I'm glad you had the strength not to."

"I was too scared."

"She couldn't do anything to you now."

"It doesn't matter."

"(F/N), I don't know why you let her do this to you."

"I do it to myself."

"Mm. You shouldn't."

"Can't help it."

I nod as she tilts he face up to mine, and leans in close so we're barely a few inches apart.

"(F/N)-"

She closes the distance, bringing her lips to mine.  I run my hand through her (h/c) hair, then pull away, parting our lips.

"I liked that." she smiles.

"That's how it's supposed to work dumbass."