The Diary of An American Woman: (Memories of The Past)

Chapter 4: Patience

Maria's POV

It's only gotten worse. He argues with me in front of the children, and it terrifies them. They would cry when ever he raises his voice at me. He would ask them if anyone was in the house, and if they denied it he wouldn't believe them. He slap me around when we're in our room. But I don't tell anyone, not even my sister's, brother, nor mother. I'm afraid they'll call the police on him and our children would be taken away and put into another foster home. All I can do is be patient and pray that God will heal him, and make him in his right mind. He think's I'm sleeping with his coworker, a man named Joey. But I barely even know this person, he had invited him and his wife over for dinner once but that was a long time ago while I was pregnant with Maryam still. That was the first and last time I ever seen them. If any other man tries talking or even look at me, he'll get angry. But I guess it's not that bad he doesn't beat me or rape me. I guess some women can tolerate some things from their husbands. 

I've suffered worse in my childhood. From the time I was five years old until the age of 12 my brother in law would molest me, and my sister allowed it. My mother couldn't do anything about it she was handicap, in a wheel chair, she couldn't walk, or use her hands much because she had arthritis. He would also slap me and neat me with belt buckles. My sister would slap me, take away my dolls and give it to her daughter, and make me watch horror movies. It was horrible, I was so depressed. By the time I was twelve I was thinking about committing suicide, but I didn't and I thank God that He saved me from doing that. I was placed in a girl's home, because of using drugs and ditching school. Ugh school, I hated it. I dropped out during the tenth grade. By the time I was eight teen I moved in with my boyfriend, Jeremiah. But it didn't work out between us. He wanted children and every time I conceived, I miscarried. So he left me. And by the time I was twenty three, I met my husband. And after two weeks, I became pregnant with Isabell, we didn't know if we were having a boy or girl during the whole pregnancy every time we to our doctors appointment, it seemed like she would hide her private parts because her legs were closed. It's like she that sense of modesty. After she was born, we decided to get married. And then we had our little Mario three years later. That's when things started to go bad, that's when he started to accuse me with all of that bullshit. But there were happy times, like when we would take the children to Disney Land, or have some family fun at the movie theatre, or Chuck E. Cheese's. But then CPS found out about our alcohol and drug problems and they took our children away for about two years. But we got are children back, and now hopefully we can do better this time.

Right now all I have to focus is my children. Maryam will be six years in a few months, my little Yunus will be three years old and Ali is already two year's old, and I think there is a huge possibility that I'm pregnant. I'm having morning sickness, I'm also tired more than usual, and I have this huge craving for tuna sandwiches all the time. But I'm scared to tell him, what if he thinks that it's not his child? I am a faithful wife but he doesn't believe that. But it only makes sense, he makes love to me almost every night and I'm only with him. But I'll tell him soon. For now I have to take our children to school. 

Later that evening 

He'll be home any minute now, I say to myself as I am warming the food up that I had prepared earlier in the afternoon. I decided to make spaghetti with garlic and cheese bread, one of his favorite dishes. Hopefully he's calm, he doesn't accuse me everyday it's just once in a while maybe two or three times a week. The children have already eaten, taken bathes, and are now sleeping.

Knock knock.

And now he's home, I say mentally to myself. I walk out of the dining room and into the living room, full of anxiety.I'm so nervous, how am I gonna tell him. 'Hey, babe I think I'm pregnant', or how about I write him a letter? No that's won't be right, I just tell him as best as I can. Now I'm opening the door with shaky hands. 'Ugh, you can do this Maria. Don't be such a baby.' I say mentally to myself.

"Hey babe, how was work?" I say to him with a kiss. 

"It went ok, what did you cook? I'm starving." he says tiredness obviously in his voice.

"I made spaghetti and garlic cheese bread." 

"Mmm, sounds good."

I lead him to the dining room, so he can eat his dinner and grab myself a plate of food and join him.

After dinner, I wash the dishes and clean the dining table. Then I join him in the living room seeing that he's watching a movie, The Quick and The Dead. One of his favorite western movies and I start massaging his head, neck, and shoulder's. 

"So...." I start thinking of how to start the whole conversation. 

"IthinkI'mpregnant!" I say in a rush, nervously.

"What?" he turns in his seat to look at me. 

"I think I'm pregnant" I say in a low, calm voice.

"I've been having morning sickness, headaches, and I've also been eating more than usual." 

"Well, say something? Don't just keep quiet, tell me your thoughts and feelings about this."

"I don't know what to say, I'm not angry about it. I'll ask my boss to change my work hours, so I can be with you and the kids more in the afternoons and evenings, ok? Come here" he says calmly. 

"Look at me. Is this my child?" he says.

OH  MY GOODNESS! And here I thought he would be calm.

"Are you serious? Yes it's yours! Why do you believe that I would do that to you?!" I say with tears in my eyes. 

 "I would never do that to you, I love you too much to betray you like that."

"If you just tell me the truth I'll forgive you, why do you keep lying to me?!"

"Stop yelling before you wake the kids. You know what I'll sleep in the living room tonight, I'm tired. I don't feel like arguing tonight, goodnight." I say in a calm, tired voice.

"Can you look me in the eye and tell me that you never cheated on me."

"I never ever cheated on you Jonathan." I say calmly and truthfully.

"Now go, I'm angry with you right now."

"No, come with me."

"I don't want to!"

Slap... Did he just?

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry..."

"Just go" I say as I break into a sob.

And with that he goes to the room. While I cry myself to sleep on the couch.

Isabell's POV

I hear my parent's talking almost every night. Dad seems to be always angry with her, but mom seems really sad sometimes. So I try to be as good as I can be. I try my best to listen to my parents and do good in school. But I don't understand, why are they mad?

Today I went to Tia(aunt) Sandra's house, I played with cousin Clarissa, Krystal, Danny, and Daniella. Mom takes me to her house early in the mornings and I watch cartoons, then she takes me to school, because mom has to go take dad to work early in the mornings now. After school she picks me up and takes me to her house and I play with my cousins. Then mom comes and picks me up. 

I'm almost six year's old, I'm so excited. I'm gonna have a birthday party with cake and ice cream, and all my Tia's(aunt's) and Tio's(uncle's) and cousins will come and we'll have games and a piñata(usually card board shaped into something and inside you put candy and beat it with a stick blind folded.) 

And momma's gonna have a baby too. I'm so happy. 

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Author's Note

So... How was it? I wrote 1486 words that's better than my first two chapter's there were only about 300-400 words. But the third one was about 1800. What did you guys think? comment, vote, share please darlings :) !!!