The Diary of An American Woman: (Memories of The Past)

Chapter 9: The New Foster Home

Isabell's POV (age 7) 

 It has been nine months now and we're still not home with our parents. I Just turned seven a month ago, I'm so happy I feel like I'm growing up. I can't wait to be a grown up. We had a party for my birthday, all my brother's and both parents were able to come. We all went to Chuck E. Cheese's and had vanilla and strawberry cake, vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry ice cream. We also ate cheese pizza and it was so yummy.

I also started going to a different school called Lincoln Elementary School. My teacher's name is Ms. Wilson, she's very nice. I don't talk much to my classmates. I usually just eat my lunch and during recess I like to go to the library to read or sometimes I sit on the swing, just swinging back and forth, wondering when my brother's and I can go back home. No one really talks to me much but it's ok. I'm actually really shy, or maybe it's just this point in my life. Besides, how am I going to make friends if I leave again? I won't be able to talk to them or probably never see them again and if I do, I probably won't remember them.

I wish I can go home already and be with my family and friends. I really miss them, but I don't cry much anymore. I used to look out my window and cry myself to sleep every night but I don't anymore. No matter how much I cry, I still have to wait to go back to my family. Mario just turned four years old, he's also getting tall. He cries sometimes for my mother, at first he would cry every night after talking to her for like an hour. But now that we started visiting them on the weekends and sleep over, he would cry when we would have to go back to our foster home. But now he doesn't cry much, it's like he has gotten used to living in another home without mom and dad.

It's currently 8:30 pm right now, I'm laying on my bed thinking about my parents, wondering how are they doing. Decide to go to bed, so I can wake up for school tomorrow and send a small prayer to God.

"Dear Lord, I ask you let me and my brother's and go back to our parents and help us be better people. I thank you for giving me another day of life. I ask you to protect me and my brother's from bad things and nightmares. And to send one of your guardian angels to protect our house, amen."

And with that I go to sleep.

Maria's POV

It has been nine months without the children, I still cry myself to sleep every night. I just miss them so much. I wish I can have them back already. I regret doing the stuff I have done and I'm really trying to change. I have been clean and sober for these three months so far. I haven't bought not one bottle of alcohol or any type of drugs so far and I want to keep it that way and hopefully this can be a lifetime promise. I never want to have to give up my children again over these bad habits again.

Jonathan and I are doing good but he's also depressed without the children around. He usually goes to work, comes back, eats, and goes to bed. There's some days where we talk, or watch a movie together or some but other than that we are doing good. He's also stopped his alcohol habits and stuff and is going to the AA meetings with me and the parenting classes. It wasn't easy at first, I would be tempted at first to go and get the stuff but I didn't do it. I'm really proud of myself and my husband.

We have court in two more months, they are seeing how Jonathon and I have progressed, if we are able to get my children back or not. I hope we could finally get them back in a couple more months. I can not handle being without them. I'm afraid I would become more depressed. My mother, Pauline is getting sick. She's handicap, my elder sister Sandra lives on the second floor of the apartment. So they are both in the same building, she usually is the one that takes care her and my other sisters help to whenever they can. Before when the kids were with us, I couldn't go much but we would usually go and visit her every week and Isabell would go after school sometimes or with my sister Sandra.

Today I plan on going to visit her. After I finish making chicken enchiladas for dinner tonight I go and change into a t-shirt and jeans and put some of the food into a container so I can take some to my mom some food.

It takes about five minutes to get to her house, we don't live that far from each other. As I get out of my truck I look around the apartments and nothing hasn't really changed much. It's been a while since I came to see my mom. Lately I haven't been going out much either, I haven't seen my home girls in a while. I just go to my meetings and the store and other places if I need to but other than that, I'm just to depressed to go out. 'How should I start the conversation?', I think to myself. I walk to the front door and knock, my niece Daniela opens the door.

"Hi mija, how have you been doing?" I ask her as I pull her in for a hug.

"I've been doing good Tia."

"Is Nana Polly awake?"

"Yeah."

"Can you go and tell her that I'm here, please."

"Yeah, come in." she moves aside so I can come into the apartment.

"Nana, Tia Maria is here."

"OK." My mother says from the living room, she usually sleeps in there in a bed, it's easier for her to be in there instead of in a room by herself. My niece stays here in the night and she just finished high school, so she is not going to school right now.

"Hi mom, how have you been doing? I miss you." I say to her as I give her a hug from her bed, then grab a chair so I can sit down beside her.

"I've been doing somewhat ok, the same as usual. How have you been doing?"

"The same, I miss them so much mom." I say as I start tearing up and takes my hand into hers.

"I know, but for now you and Johnny have to change yourselves for the better in order to get them back. Everything will be okay." She says in a very comforting tone. I talk to her for another hour more and then head on home.

"Bye mom. I love you."

"Bye sweetie, be strong. I love you too."

(Later that night)

After I came home from visiting my mom, I cleaned up the house to keep myself busy and I decide to watch the Judge Judy.

Around eight pm my husband comes back home and I give him dinner and we head off to bed. Before I go to bed I pray to God.

"Dear Lord, I ask you to protect my children from evil in this world and protect the house. I ask you to give me and my husband the strength to overcome this addiction. I also ask you to help us become better parents, amen."

And with that I go to sleep.

Author's Note:

Sorry I haven't updated in like 3 weeks I've been so busy lately with school and getting ready to start college soon in sha allah. But I'm really gonna try to at least update 2-4 times a month. Salaam(peace) and goodnight my dear's.