It's got to the point where I feel a burden.
I can't help but see dislike in others faces as I know I can be overbearing to be around.
I get caught up in the moment and do not see how to mend the carelessness of a situation I only see in retrospect.
I know I'm probably reading this wrong but I feel like it's a chore for those I call friends to be around me.
I can not shake this feeling that I have alienated myself to the point that even I don't want to hear what I have to say.
I do not mean to sound prideful or egotistical, I get lost in my role of pretending to be an extrovert that I miss social conventions.
I am exhausted to the point that I can not get out of the spiral that pulls me down into thoughts of hoplesness.
My bed offers an oblivion I can not get enough of even when I wish to be up and active.
Am I that damaged that I can not even learn how to go a day with out being a bother to those I respect?
I know I should not seek the respect of everyone I know but I can not keep the pain put of my interactions in hindsight.
Why is it so hard not to just keep quiet and be able to focus all the exhausted manic emotions into a postive outcome?
Why is it I can not bear some days to the point I cancel on the things I do love and that kept me afloat?
What is it about me that make it so hard for me to bear wearing my own skin and just wanting to shut mouth to stop more damage spewing out?
I know I am loved and have great friends but still I find my self ruminating that I am a failure.
I'm tired of being tired and lost within my own head.
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Snapshots of Pain, Grief And Loss
PoetryA selection of where the darkest/loneliest/grieving ruminations and experiences from different time periods in life have been placed. Warning Triggers! It is not for light reading and if your in a dark place, please avoid. This book comes in three...
