Handle With Clare

Chapter 7: You Handle It With Clare

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"You're going to feel a big pinch," the nurse said as she gave me an IV. I watched her stick the needle into my arm as I laid in a hospital bed that was a bit too big for me. I've had so many needles in me over the past three years that I didn't even flinch this time around.

When I was first diagnosed, I was so afraid of needles, to the point of tears every time some nurse would bring one out. But I overcame my fear after I learned that there were more important things to be afraid of.

Today was Monday and that meant I got to spend all afternoon at the hospital with the new treatment. This was exactly what I wanted to do on my summer break, working on my pasty tan. "Good, well, this will run for about two hours. And you know the rest. Push the button if you need anything," she smiled at me.

I gave her a half-smile just to make her feel better. My poor mood was not her fault. She as well as all the other nurses tried their best to keep me uplifted, but it hardly ever worked. "You'll be the first one I call."

She smiled at me and squeezed my hand before walking out of the room. Nurse Jensen had been my nurse for over a year and she was one of my favorites. She had seen me at my highs and my lows, and I felt she understood me.

Shortly after Nurse Jensen left, mom and dad walked in with smiles that seemed a little too fake to be real.

I held back a frown that wanted to spread across my face. I didn't like how they always tried to force their happiness, especially here. The hospital sucked, and it sucked that I was here. They didn't have to pretend that everything was ok because it wasn't and it was obvious. With their fake smiles, I don't think I would ever truly understand what went behind their minds.

"This is going to take another two hours. Did you want to go grocery shopping or something while you wait?" I asked before they had the chance to say anything.

They looked at each other for a second as if they were reading each other's minds. They looked unsure, as if they didn't want to leave me alone with this new treatment.

"Relax. This isn't my first rodeo. I'll be fine." Just because it was a new treatment didn't mean that it was all new for me. This treatment was going to be the same that I was used to. They didn't need to stay around for that.

"Ok. Remember, if you feel up to it, go to the support group today," mom reminded me for the fifth time today.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Ick. I think that will be the last place I go to. Being around a bunch of sick kids? I'll pass, thanks though," I said honestly, unable to hold my thoughts from her. I hadn't been to the support group meeting in about a year in a half. I just found it depressing to be around other cancer patients. Plus, I didn't like the reminder that I was as sick as them.

"Please, Clare? You might like it," dad pitched in.

He knew that was a lie. I had never liked them. Why would I like them now? I sighed at them in silence. If dad says something, that means it was really important to them. He was normally the quiet one in our family. Going must mean something to them. But did I really want to go? No. But should I think about them? Yes. This would make them happy for whatever reason, and I should consider their wishes. "I'll think about it."

Dad smiled at me, happy with my response. "Thanks. It's on this floor in room-"

"445, yeah I know," I cut him off to so show him I still knew where it was. "Now, go have fun. I'm not going anywhere," I said, trying to shoo them off. If they stayed here any longer, I wouldn't have any alone time.

They both gave me a small smile as they hugged goodbye, then left. I waited a minute until I went to my phone for entertainment. Almost instantly, interrupting me from my social media was a text from Peter. Not used to people texting me, the buzzing made me jump, almost causing me to drop my phone onto the icy floor.