Handle With Clare

Chapter 25: You Will Always Be My Favorite Doctor

I think that this song is good for the whole chapter! 

Enjoy

Cancer sucked, there was not was to sugarcoat it. I knew that fact as well as Anna did. However, I never thought that Anna would find out that fact as fast as she did. Neither did I think the realities of cancer would hit Anna as hard as it did.

I thought she would be in and out of treatment in a flash, and I think she expected that as well. The fact that she was getting worse was crushing for her and me. I could see it in her face, and it killed me that there was nothing I could do to help. There wasn't any way to ease her pain, or fight the cancer on her behalf, this was her lone battle and it was as difficult as it was isolating.

Every time I picked up my phone after the piano performance, I tried to come up with something I could say to Anna, but every text I made, I deleted before I sent it since no words seemed right. Days passed in silence until I decided that what I wanted to tell her would be better in person.

She needed to know that would not run when things got tough, and she didn't need to hide her problems from me because I understood. I understood more than anyone else would and because of that, I would not leave her side. I was going to stay by her and be her cheerleader, just like she was for me.

"Hey are you ok, Clare?" mom asked as I tried to eat breakfast.

I hadn't been hungry for the past few days; I knew it was because of the stress with Anna, the start of school, and just life. All of this stress killed my appetite and even though I knew I should eat, I couldn't force myself.

Now that school started, I felt like I constantly had a mound of homework to do, continually looming over my head, reminding me that I had things to do. Balancing all of my responsibilities along with being with Peter and his rugby games was wearing on me. I knew senior year would be hard, but I didn't think it would be this hard.

As I thought about the rugby games, they brought a smile to my face. I think it was safe to say that was becoming a true fangirl if I could fangirl over a team. I was finally back as a member of the school with help of Peter and people were actually treating me as one. At those games, people sat with me, talked to me as those games sucked up my Friday nights, but I loved every minute. And if that wasn't enough, on Saturday's Peter took up my time. It stretched me thin, but I didn't want to give up anything. I wanted to keep it all, but I finally was enjoying my life. I finally felt like I was living.

I looked up at mom and forced a smile to show that I was ok. I didn't sleep well the night before, and I was sure that added to my stress. "I'm stressed out. That's all. I'm not really hungry." I told her honestly and pushed the bowl of cereal away.

She frowned, not happy with my response. "You have to eat something. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

I nodded at her, hearing that phrase more times than I could count. "I know, but I'm not hungry. Please, can I go? I have homework to work on," I frowned as I thought about the mass load that I neglected all weekend long.

She frowned at me, but said nothing for a second as she thought. "Ok go and do your homework. But I expect you to eat lunch."

I nodded at her, happy with her response. "Sure thing." I stood up from my seat eagerly, but suddenly everything went black.

The first thing I was aware of was voices. At first, I didn't understand what they were saying, but I quickly figured out as my mind woke up. Clearly, I heard my parents talking about me to doctor Patel. "She's not doing well is she," I heard my dad question, although it sounded like more of a statement.