Chapter 15: Hell Wasn't That Bad

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Look out for the <> for when to listen!

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Darla H

For so long I had made masks for myself. I read some articles before saying that depending on the people you hang out with; you put on a mask to better fit their ideas. I had been so good at making masks that I didn't know if I could even show my real self.

Once we made it to the school parking lot, one of Farrah's friends turned to me then looked me up in down, judging me. I shifted uncomfortably, suddenly feeling self-conscious of my appearance. Finally, she spoke up saying, "Clare, your hair looks nice. I love what you're doing with it."

The image of my hair in my hand was still fresh in my mind, and as I looked at her, all my emotions bubbled up again. I was sure she was trying to be nice, but the way she handled it made me feel less than what I was. I laughed cynically at her. "Well thanks, you know, this is the only style I can do. I'm surprised that you haven't noticed it before because I have done nothing different in six months."

"Clare," Farrah warned, trying to pull me back into place since I embarrassed her.

Knowing that I stepped out of place, I got out of the car without another word, convinced that saying nothing and being invisible was the best to best. We all walked to the school building in silence since I killed the mood from my outburst. This reminded me that there was a reason Farrah's friends didn't like to hang out with me.

"Clare you'll be fine?" Farrah asked me when we walked into the building. I watched as one of her friends started tugging her down the other hall, no doubt trying to get her away from me, the downer of the party.

I nodded at her, knowing that she wanted to hang out with her friends and have fun. "As fine as I can be. I don't think I'll get lost here." I was going to hold them back anyhow. They didn't want to be with me. They were friends with Farrah, not me.

She smiled, happy with my response, then turned to her friends and ran off with them down the hall.

I sighed with a frown as I watched my sister walk further down the hall with her friends, leaving me alone, reminding me why I even wanted to come when I knew they would leave me. I could see it now, I was going to spend all night alone in the gym's corner, wishing I wasn't here. Trying to remember where the gym was, I turned down another hall only to pass a small girl that recognized. Unwilling to talk to her, I gave a small hi and kept on walking forward, hoping she didn't notice. To my dismay, she said my name.

"Wait. Clare, oh my... is that you? You look..." she paused and looked me up and down for a second. "... good," the girl said to me and hugged me awkwardly. I imminently stiffened up, as was one of my old 'friends' embraced me. She was probably the last person I wanted to see tonight, since she spread rumors about me a year ago.

"Hey Tabi," I said to her politely as she pulled out of the hug.

"Are you finally going to get out of the shadows and join the public again? I heard senior year will be the best yet," she said to me.

Out of the shadows? Was I a vampire? Her words felt like knives stabbing into me as I looked at her cheer outfit. I racked my mind with something nice to say to her. "I don't think so. I rather spend it alone in my house reading college textbooks." I said my voice dripping with sarcasm.

Her smile dropped off, but she regained herself quickly. There was a second of silence, as I was sure that Tabi was thinking of what to say.

Staring at her silently, I waited for a reply. It brought a little of joy to me as she looked uncomfortable with the silence.

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