Gangster Love...

Chapter 12

''Nevaeh?'' A voice says my name while shaking my body. I think for a minute and remeber that Jonathan is dead? He is gone. Gone as in never coming back gone. I don't even wanna wake up and face the world anymore. Is Maranda okay? I don't remeber her following me back...all I remeber is the horrible sight that I saw. Did Caleb and Cailyn even make it in? I don't truly remeber anything...I don't see a point in waking up at all. I am going to live with gulit for the rest of my life. I will be the old lady telling the young girls to hold on to their men because you never know when life says time is up. I close my eyes harder and try to force me self to go back to sleep. A thought comes into my mind though...What will I tell my mama? I can't believe this...Telling and facing my mama is even a better reason to stay sleep forever. Yeah she loves me a lot and the same with me to her,but I can't see her understanding what's going on in my heart right now...What is going on in my heart right now? Pain,Guilt,-''Nevaeh Lanay Burn.'' The voice says again,but this time shaking me harder. I wish whoever this was would just leave me alone and let me be.'' Listen her Nevaeh,either you wake up or I will kill you quicker than it takes the time for your heart to beat. 5 seconds.'' I'd rather whoever this was just to kill me like they said they would.''4'' Just go ahead and do it I want to yell.''3'' I say a little prayer to God.''2'' I hear a tisk tisk.''1-'' Then a door or something busts open.'' Bro don't kill her.'' I recongnize the voice immediatley. Caleb. That gives me some kind of strength to open my eyes.'' Get out.'' The voice says,and I recongnize that the voice this whole time has been calm, but not relaxed. I think that maybe I should open my eyes,but right then and there I hear the cock of a gun and feel the power of a bullet that whizzes right past my head.Death just past by my head whoever this is was serious about killing me.I realize I have no reason why I decided to live I just felt like it.'' I don't always miss. I have killed plenty of people you won't phase me.'' The voice says but this time with no feeling at all,and I can tell that they are serious. I open my eyes and notice that I am in a dark room. How in the world did they miss me.''How did you miss me? We are in the dark?'' I hear a dark laugh.'' Oh so now you wanna talk... Lets put it like this. You don't need to why or how i missed just be lucky that I missed.'' I cough.'' Can we turn on the lights?'' ''No.'' They say without hesitation.''Are you a man?'' '' Of course. Do you feel guilty?'' I am stunned by the question he has asked me. '' What do you mean?'' I know exactly what he means,but I wanna know how he knows. I will try to get some answers out of him.'' Don't play stupid. I know the game you are trying to play little one,but see this is my game and you can't play the game with the maker. You are destined to lose. I will let you know who I am because it seems like my brother didn't teach you anything.'' I sit there for a second. My brother.Brother. I can't believe who this is.'' Cailyn?'' I hear his dark laugh again.'' Ah. Point one for me. Zero for you,but you did kill my brother,but i killed your friend'" Horror floods my body."No!! Why? I didn't kill Jonathan!!" I hear him laugh again."Chill little one. No one killed your friend. She's fine.You fall for things to easily little one." I sigh. I couldn't have the death of another loved one on my hands."Why did you say I killed Jonathan?" " Because I knew you would believe whatever I said." He's right in some kind of manner. I just don't feel like admitting it."So is he dead? I saw him get shot in the back." "Why are you asking me? You know what you saw...trust your eyes did you see my brother dead or not? Figure it out. '' His statement leaves me thinking. Did I see Jonathan dead or was I imagining.If he was dead wouldn't it feel like half my heart was gone,but i do feel guilty though. Is there a chance that Jonathan is still alive. The thought of that brings my spirit up a little.''I don't know.'' I say.''Yes you do.'' The light comes on and I see Cailyn up in person for the first time.He is tall and has a lean body. He looks like a younger version of their grandmother. He is beautiful. How can he be a gangster? I should be used to this by now. You can't judge a book by it's cover. I stare at him for a while. He comes over and grabs my chin.'' Do you feel that my brother is dead little one?'' He ask. His eyes are burning into mine.I don't feel that he is dead. I just know that he is dead beacause I saw him dead. I lie and say,''Yes.'' He shakes his head.'' Why lie? I f you feel that my brother is dead then he is dead.'' I look at him and try to blink back tears. Is he confirming my lie,and saying that yes Jonathan is dead or is he just answering rhetorically.'' Are you saying that he is dead?'' I ask.'' Am I or am I not?'' he says while looking at me intensely.'' It's all about how you feel,and lying isn't going to get you anywhere.'' I don't feel like responding back to him,so I look around where I am. It looks like I'm in Jonathans guest room.My back is against the side of the huge king size bed.'' If you know im lying then why don't you just tell me the truth? Is he alive or is he not?'' He cocks his head to the side.'' I don't have to and beacuse I'm not the one looking for answers. You are.'' I laugh for the first time. This dude is really getting on my nerves.'' You are really irritaing me.'' I tell him.'' Yeah, I know. It's obvious.'' I stare at him for a while. I don't believe that Jonathan is dead.I decide that I will tell him this just to see what he will say. There is nothing to lose.'' Okay look. I don't believe that Jonathan is dead.So will you tell me if he is dead or not?'' Just saying the word dead as a adjective and Jonathan being the noun sends chills down my spine. Definetly after I just admitted to myself that I really don't believe that Jonathan is dead.'' Cailyn smiles a sweet smiles and says,'' Go check for yourself.'' He opens the door and I walk out. He's behind me as I walk down the stairs before we get down the stairs I turn around and hug him. I don't know why  I hug him I just do.''Thank you.'' I whisper.'' No problem he says back. I make it down the stairs and look at him again and this time I smile. I walk into the living room to see Jonathan asleep on the couch. Joy spreads through my body. I can't believe it. He is alive. I control myself from jumping on the couch and kissing him to death.Cailyn whispers in my ear,'' He had on a vest.'' Realization hits me. He did have on a vest. I remember him putting it on up under his shirt. He pats my back as I laugh and cry at the same time he walks to the kitchen and gets a beer. He sits on one of the stools and leans back and drinks it. Not really saying anything he finishes his beer gets up and walks right past me to the door. He picks up a set of keys and walks out.I grab a beer for myself and I drink and cry. I drink and cry because I am happy and I don't feel like waking Jonathan up.He's probally tired. I'll drink until he wakes up.