Buckteeth and Sunglasses (Pepsicola)

Chapter 1

Be Dave==>

Ugh. This is such a perfect way to start of a weekend. Just fucking perfect...

[][][][][][][][flashback][][][][][][][]

You had just gotten home from another boring ass day at school. You headed to the kitchen to grab some Apple juice because hell yes, when you noticed your Bro was there. He was sitting down at the table, doing literally nothing.....which surprised you. No papers on the table or anything. He never does nothing. He had to be planning something. An ironic joke maybe? You grab your juice and then slowly walk up to him.
"Heeeyy Bro....watchya doin?" You had to admit, you were kinda nervous.
"Hello David. Sit down."......David? The fuck? And there wasn't a single cuss word in that short sentence. He had to be planning something.
"Ooooookayy." You reply as you sit down right across from him. You were concerned and slightly scared.
"Okay let's cut to the chase."
"Yeah what's up? "
"Well, you know that engineering job I applied for? Well I got it."
"Really? Cool. Ya know, this could spark a new interest for you. You could give up the weird ass puppets. You could get rid of Lil Cal!" Suddenly Bro's new job was becoming more and more exciting to you. People always said your fear of puppets was "unhealthy" but they don't live with Cal.
"Lemme straighten things out for you: The puppets are staying, cal definitely stays, we have to move to Washington, puppets are awesome so fuck you, and you are an idiot." He said quickly and then he walked away. You had to sit there for a second to comprehend what he had just said. Puppets stay, Cal stays, move to Washington, puppets awesome, Dave is an-wait..what!? You jumped up from your seat and ran after Bro. He was already making his way((DOWNTOWN WALKING FAST, FACES PA-*gets slapped by reader*)) to the living room. Once you reached him, you grabbed him by the shoulder and spinned him around.
"What do you mean an by 'move'?"
"I mean, shove your shit into a box, we leave tomorrow." And with that Bro walked off, Cal clinging to his neck.

[][][][][][][][][][][][End of le flashback][][][][][][][][][][][]

You were now currently sitting down in what used to be your room. It looked different now that all your stuff was cleared out. You pulled out your phone to talk to the derp for a little while because why not?

--------turntechGodhead began pestering ectoBiologist---------

TG:hey dude
EB:hey Dave
TG: what's up
EB:cake
TG:what?
EB:cake
EB:and lots of it
EB:I tried to get him to stop
EB:they kept coming
EB:I am sick
EB:and fucking tired to death
EB:of CAKE
TG:you say it like it's a bad thing
TG:I mean
TG:you have an unlimited supply of sweets
TG:isnt that supposed to be like
TG:every kids dream or something?
TG:like
EB:WAIT
TG:what?
EB:every time you say "like" in a one word message
EB:that's a signal that you're gonna go on and on with something dumb
EB:and then you rap about it
EB:I know you
TG:ouch
TG:harsh dude
EB:I didn't mean it like that Dave!
TG:then what did you mean John?
EB:you're my best friend and I love you and I wouldn't hurt you
EB:its just that....
EB:you tend to ramble
EB:I mean I see why you and rose are related.
TG:.....you love me
EB:wait what?
TG:you said you loved me
EB:in a completely platonic way!
EB:I am not a homosexual
TG:yeah yeah you say that all the time
TG:I was just joking with you
TG:anyways
TG:I should get going soon.
EB:why?
TG:did I not tell you?
TG:me and bro are moving
EB:really?
TG:yeah somewhere in Washington
EB:......Washington you say?
TG:yeah why
EB:what city
TG:a town called
TG:maple valley
EB:are you serious?!
TG:what why
EB:I live there!
TG:no shit?
EB:yeah!
EB:that means I can finally meet you in person!
TG:yeah
TG:this is pretty cool
TG:I better go
TG:bro is calling
EB:see ya
EB:hehe..maybe literally this time.
TG:heh..yeah

--------turntechGodhead ceased pestering ectoBiologist --------

You almost choked on your irony. John lived there? Huh...this move is becoming a great thing. You can finally meet your best bro in person.

Be John==>

This was the best news you had ever heard in your entire life! For as long as Dave and you and been friends, it had never occurred to you that you would meet him in person. It still sounded so weird that he was your best friend, but you never met him. You were in the middle of your mini freak-out when your dad walked in. You turned to him, a huge goofy grin still plastered to your face. The smile did not want to come off. Your dad raised an eyebrow and you couldn't keep it in.
"Dave is moving to Washington and this town and I'm so excited and so happy and-GAHHH!!" You exclaimed and then flopped on your bed. That big goofy grin grin got even bigger and goofier. You popped up and looked at him.
"The Strider you say?"
"Yeah! Isn't it great."
"I most definitely will look forward in meeting him," And with that, he walked out. A second later he rushed back in, put a plate that held a slice of cake on it on your desk, and walked back out. Those damn cakes...

/\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\

Høi! Just a few lil notes: this IS my first fanfic, so don't judge me if its horrible(which it is). (=>w<=) Also, in this horrid excuse fur a book, Rose and Dave are half-siblings. Same thing fur Jade and John.
Mkay. Bøi.

EDIT: Oh holy mother of fuck old me was so cringy and weeby ew. Eh, family tree has changed; Rose and Dave are just really close friends who grew up together, Jade is John's cousin.  (For those of you just starting, don't worry chapters will get better. Read further, I'll explain, don't worry.)