The Man Of My Nightmares (Septiplier) **DISCONTINUED**

Let Me Go

*Lily's POV*

I don't want to think, I don't want to move. I'm done. I chugged the last bit of whiskey I had and redid my makeup. I look like shit. I don't even know if I had all my school stuff, but I left anyways. I was so pale I was turning grey... again. As soon as I got to school, I saw Jack. "Jack, I'm done." Tell me I'm not, tell me I matter.
"No, you're not, you light up every room and everyone loves you."
"Fucking liar" Try harder please.
"I just want to help, because you helped me." You're not trying.
"Oh, save it." Save me, please.

Maybe I don't matter to him. Maybe. I could be gone tomorrow and he would be none the wiser. Someone fucking help me. I sat by my empty locker and cried as Jack walked off. He didn't even look back. Oh, if only Kaia were still here. Why is it that nobody notices until it's too late? Two young, compulsive, loaded guns in love. Kaia, I miss you hon. I've turned into her. A crazy abused druggie. The bell shrieked. I didn't move. I sat crying my eyes out over something that didn't happen. Mark passed by. I hoped he would see me, but he didnt. I waited until security took me to the office. I took a tardy pass and trudged to class. I was still crying, not like it mattered. I took off my glasses. I couldn't see, but they were getting uncomfortable over my eyes. For a moment, my heart stopped. For a moment, I couldve died, but I didn't. It started again and I was fine. "Fine." No one is ever fine.

After school, I went to 7-eleven. Cheap vodka to get pass out drunk and run away from life. And hopefully not get beaten too hard. Vodka gave me a taste of death everytime I got drunk on it. It was nothing, it was perfect. Maybe I won't go home tonight. But where would I go? I couldn't think. My limbs were starting to hurt, so I unscrewed the lid of the bottle and took a sip. I had the intention of finishing it, even though you're supposed to drink 6 ounces at a time. Who knows, maybe I'll get alcohol poisoning. Exciting. The water at the park was too clean. I could see the bags under my eyes. To anybody else, I would look like just any old drunk. Oh, Nalu, you were always the favorite. After he left is when the abuse started. Someone came up and hugged me. I was disappointed to look up and see my dead girlfriend. Another sip of vodka. I'm not afraid of dying. I have nothing left to lose, all I had was taken. If there is a god, then he is a cruel, cruel man. Sip. I don't know what was worse the burning throat or knowing I was alone. I started sweating. Shaking. It was hell, sweet hell. If only it would last.

I woke up at like 8 and immediately vomitted. Oh mother won't be happy. Father will be worse. I looked at the empty bottle and threw it into the lake. I lit a cigarette and just sat there. Oh the feeling of dying. It was so comforting. Like I did it. I still got it. And nothing can stop me now. Nothing. No more doctors, no more medicine, no more me. I'll be gone soon. And nobody would care. I just sat there. I don't know how long, but I saw Jack and fucking ran. I can't go home, but I can't stay here. Just, why won't he let me go? I'm a goner.

*Jack's POV*

I got to the bench in time to see someone run off it. All I could see was white hair. But that was all I needed to know it was her. She needs to stay alive. For me. For Mark. For everyone. I quietly walked behind the tree where she was hiding.
"What the fuck do you want?! Can't I just live my own life?"
"Why are you so upset, it's midnight and I'm not okay, so I came here to think"
"Stay away, jack! STAY AWAY!"
"Lily, please if you're not okay, you can get better."
"STAY AWAY JACK I DON'T NEED YOU! FUCKING LET ME GO ALREADY!"
"But I care about you"
"No YOU DON'T. EVEN FROM DAY ONE YOU FUCKING HATED ME!"
"Please, Lily I just want to help."
"No. You can't help."

She ran off with a look of trauma in her eyes. Tears streamed down my face, because I'm weak. Then I sat. Pulled a fag out of my pocket, greeted by burning eyes. Mr. Razor decided it was time to come out so he did. Seems I ran out of space. So I propped one leg on the other for easy access to my calf. I rolled up my jeans and sliced happily. Why can't I do anything right?

A/n: sorry it's short, again. If you read How To Save a Life by me, it's that Lily, surprise! I am doing real bad, don't think the meds are working, but idk. Chapter might be late next week, sorry