Haunted

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About a week had passed... Lily was on a steep slope downward and wouldn't talk to either of us. I remember her face that night, the mix of trauma and desperation. I should've chased after her, but I was too tired to know what I was doing. So now, here I am staring at a note on the ground saying "You know where I am." From Lily. That's what I get, I guess. For being a bad friend. I didn't panic, I just accepted my fate and walked to the bathroom. The bathroom. The one I would never go to again, for fear of the memories. Of course, I walked in to see blood. I followed it into one of the stalls. A lifeless body sat there. It was my fault, I let my emotions take the best of me, and forgot how I treated her. She held a note in her lifeless, cold, dead hand, but it was so bloodsoaked it was unreadable. I couldn't help but let tears pour from my empty eyes. She was trying so hard she broke. I guess you can't bend forever. There was an awful ringing in my ears as I stared at her. The exposed flesh and blood. She wanted this so bad.

I stayed so long that I missed two periods and I wasn't even sorry. But when I did leave, I wiped the blood from my shoes. There was a hole in my chest, as I left my heart in that very room. Oh Lily, you never saw how much I cared. I didn't want to return to school. I didn't want to go home. I knew that if I told a teacher, they would close the school and investigate, but I didn't want that either. I wanted this to never have happened. I wish I showed her how much I cared. So I turned around. Back in the room. The room with dead girl and me. Mark would come looking, Mark would tell. He cares so much about people. I heard the bell, didn't even flinch. I was so sorry and so full of regret that I didn't move. I reached out to touch her arm. Her shoulders were okay, but her wrists were mutilated, to say the least. For a second, I thought she was breathing, but she wasn't. I want her back.

It must have been recess. I heard footsteps approaching and I froze. Mark was here, with Mr. Ridgewell? I didn't know he even knew Mr. Ridgwell, or Tom as he wants me to call him. The two lunged at me asking if I was okay. All I did was look to the side and thier eyes followed. Their eyes followed mine to the corpse of sunshine girl.

***

I didn't visit Ted. Mother was upset, but I wasn't there. I was mentally playing out what would happen if I ran after her, if I changed what happened. Maybes she would've still died, maybes she wouldn't care. But that doesn't mean I couldn't have at least tried and I didnt. I thought she was mad at me, she wasn't. I didn't go outside for at least two weeks. I stayed in my room opening old scars and ignoring the seizures. I am dying, but I don't care anymore.

A/n: It is terribly short, I know. but the next chapter will be longer. I want you guys to know that I'm happy now. I have a girlfriend and she's all I couldve asked for. be prepared for art in the next chapter though. ;)

ps: schedule is adjusted to every two weeks because fUCKUCK

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