Bleed Me Dry

Over My Head

"I'd rather run the other way than stay and see, the smoke, and who's still standing when it clears." Over My Head, The Fray.

Gia

We breathe heavy taking the moment in while it still lasts. We're beautiful together, moving as one body instead of two. Our climax happens together and we hit perfect harmony. When we're done he falls to my side and we look at each other as if to say "good job". I cherish every little moment of our one night stand. After every guy that passes through my life I take in every part of them because deep down I wish we could have a normal relationship. I didn't mean to become a girl that lures men in and doesn't talk to them after the deed is done but it's easier that way. If I break my own heart no one else can break it for me.

You would think the amount of times I've done this I would be a pro at the after part. The after is the hardest thing to live with. But there's no getting used to one night stands, especially this one. I've been watching Tanner for months now trying to get him in my bed for the night. I only ever do it for one night.

"We should do that again sometime," he says not knowing what he's just gotten into with me.

I smile at him, he's too pretty for me to let him down to his face. He has jet black hair and piercing green eyes that melted me the moment I saw him. He put his arms around me which is my key to know that I'm sleeping here tonight. I don't mind because the truth is I could stay like this forever, but we can't have everything we want can we? I take one last big breath before I let myself fall asleep.

When I wake up in the morning I smell coffee. I take in my surroundings, soft sheets that remind me of the kind I had when I was young, a bright window with birds chirping through it, and the sound of Tanner singing softly in the kitchen. Another piece of my heart chips just like it has time and time again. One day my heart is just going to bleed out.I get dressed as fast as I can so Tanner gets the message that last night was our one and only night together.

I don't see him when I walk out to the kitchen so I slip out of the apartment as quick as I can and run to my car. Once the car door closes it's my cue to let out my emotions. I start to cry, for Tanner, for myself, for what could have been if I wasn't so cautious. I have to tell myself that if I would have stayed he would only shatter the little heart I have left. After I finish crying I drive home knowing the only person I'm coming home to is my cat Fuzzmeister.

I work at Wrigley's diner, I know it's kind of sad but I never went to college so the restaurant business is one of my few options. My co-worker Millie tells me there's someone on the phone for me. I instantly know it's Tanner calling to talk about last night. Before I answer the phone I mentally prepare myself to break his heart and my own along with it.

"Hello," I answer my brain aches when I say it.

"Gia Hey, it's Tanner!"

"Uhh hi Tanner."

"I was wondering if maybe we could go out again tonight. I missed you this morning so we're gonna have to make up for some lost time," he flirts.

"Um I'm busy tonight."

"Okay how bout some time soon then."

"Sure, I'll call you. Bye."

I hang up a little too fast not giving him the chance to say goodbye. I won't be calling him. I tell myself it's for his own good. It's too hard living a life constantly not knowing when the next person is going to stab you in the back. I guess it's the price you have to pay when protecting your heart.