His Obsession His Possession

Chapter Eight

CHAPTER EIGHT - LILLY'S P.O.V

"Yesterday was a mistake." He opens his eyes, observing my expressionless face as if to gauge my reaction to his words. "Kissing you was a terrible mistake. What I did was reprehensible and disgusting. I have crossed the boundaries of our strictly student, teacher relationship and I-I'm sorry for doing such a deplorable thing."

Reprehensible? Disgusting? Deplorable? Ouch.

"Then why did you do it?" My voice comes out impuissant as I ask the question that's left me befuddled and perplexed since the moment he kissed me. No matter how long I sat on my bed and stared at my cieling, pondering and contemplating the possible reasons, I couldn't come up with a reasonable one.

"You remind me of someone." His eyes hold sorrow as he looks at me, and the knot in my chest pulsates. "When I kissed you, I felt like I was kissing Veronica again."

The knot in my chest tightens. Who the fuck is Veronica?

"I kissed you back." The words are uttered before my brain has a chance to comprehend the purpose of the words being said.

"I know you did, and that's what makes me feel even more disgusted by my actions. Surely my asinine and half-witted action left you feeling... uncomfortable and perhaps even intimidated."

I could tell him that he's wrong; that I wasn't uncomfortable or intimidated, that having his lips on mine was thrilling; but, what would be the point? If he feels so disgusted and regretful of the kiss then why should I embarrass myself by saying that I thought otherwise?

"Lillian, I need you to know that I am truly sorry for kissing you. I can't even began to describe how disgusted I am by my own actions.  I feel penitence, repentance, and contrition. Please forgive me Lillian." His words cause an alarm to go off somewhere within my subconscious but I ignore the internal signal - I ignore the blue flag my subconscious is weilding and twirling around in an attempt to get my attention.

"I forgive you." I keep my face impassive as I utter the three words he seems desperate to hear.

"You do?" He sounds surprised, as if he was expecting me to yell at him.

"Yes." I force the corners of my mouth to lift up, giving him a disingenuous smile. "I forgive you. It was a mistake right? We all make mistakes; I've had my fair share of indescretions."

"Indescretions?" He raises a brow at me and I nod my head. "Thank you Lillian, for forgiving me."

My envisionment ends as I snap back into the present, realizing that once again I replayed what happened twenty minutes ago in my head. That's all I have been able to do for the past fifteen minutes, recapitulate the words Mr. Stevens said to me over and over again.

Every word that came out of his mouth affected me in the most foreign way. His words should have left me feeling frustrated and infuriated. Hell, I want to feel frustrated and infuriated because the way I feel now is confusing the hell out of me.

I look down at the small agglomeration of worksheets I've been given to grade and sit up, snapping out of my daze and focusing my attention on them. In a rush to get them done so I can leave, my eyes hastily look between the worksheets and the answer key to see which answers are wrong and which ones are right.

As soon as I write a big red 'F' on top of the last worksheet I rise from the desk I've been sitting in for the last half hour and walk towards Mr. Stevens' desk, taking the worksheets and red pen with me.