From The Bottom

Chapter 3 : Never Can Say Goodbye

This morning felt magical. I just woke up instantly excited and I didn't even know why. It was like the sun was shining extra bright, the birds were chirping extra loud, and the wind was blowing real cool. I got up from the bed and stood in front of the mirror. Damnn, I gotta admit , for a loser, I look so good. I'm not sadity, but you know.... My Mom and dad could never go wrong. I didn't wanna miss another day of school, but I had to go see my grandma. On my way there, Raquan texted me.  "Hey bruh, my lil sis told me about your grandma and the reason why you missed out on school and stuff, so we went to the front office and got your moms digits, and asked her if we can come and visit her with you today. I mean, if you don't mind. We know how you feel, losing out on a family member, cause my moms died too. Hmu if you want us to come through."I felt so much better now that I have two new friends who accept me and my issues. I texted him and told them to come through. I really felt funny about their first impression of my grams as a dying lady on her deathbed, but it is what it is. I really need them, but that's something I'm far from ready to admit. When my mom and I got there, we walked inside and greeted my grandma once again. Hey grams, how you feeling? " Much better baby, I know I'm going soon, but the pain is slowly fading." I regretted that question. I hated to hear her to talk like that. Well, my friends actually want to come and see you, you know. I just met them, but they just wanted to show support. "Oh, let them come!  I'd love to meet them. " That's what I loved most about her, she wasn't ashamed of anything she did, cause they were her own actions. There was a knock on the door, and the nurse let Raquan and Khyna in. Hey Y'all, come on in. This is my Grandma, Pearlie. Khyna came forth with a little teddy bear.  "Hi, grandma pearlie, I am Khyna, Kendricks friend from school." She gave the bear to my grandma, and for a long time, My grandma smiled and reaches out for a hug "Come here, baby. Give Pearlie some sugar! " Raquan laughed as Khyna shyly hugged my grams. Raquan walked up to her and introduced himself. " Hey Grandma Pearlie, my name is Raquan. We came through after I.found out about your condition and allat.  Ma'am, I'm sorry about what's going on and I also heard you got 3 days left. I just wanted give you something before you climb them stairs soon." He gave her a gold chain, making us all burst into tears laughing. He got a little mad, " What's funny?  This is a very sentimental gift! My grandma gave me this chain!" We laughed even harder. Grams smiled and said " Raquan, baby. You are so sweet. I've always wanted a little bling ding ding, so I can look like one of them hippity hoppn dudes, who that is?  Lil Bow Weezy Wayne?  Bird Baby?  One of them." Everyone including the nurses laughed ,tears falling. I couldn't help but look at Khyna, her dimples showing, laughing and looking at me. I guess my grandma saw cause she whispered for me to bend down near her. She whispered"  I see you looking at her, Baby. Go after her. She's Pretty, and she respects you and me. That's a plus. Show her your talent. She will soon be your #1 fan, well besides me. I love you baby, and I know you like that girl. Don't be afraid, you're a La cour! " I got up and cleared my throat. My grandma started coughing into a napkin , struggling to hold it in her hands, but when I rushed to her side, she said she was fine. I know she wasn't, I saw bits of blood. I tried to forget it and change the subject. So, Uh. I don't know if you two are aware, but I can... sing. Raquan laughed, "Really ?  Blow Something! " "Yeah" , Khyna interjected, " Sing something! " How about silent night? My grandma spoke hoarsely "Yeah, sing that song for me, Kenny. I used to sing you that song on the way to church mass." Ok (clears throat) Sileeent night. Hooooly night, all is caaalm, all is briiight. round yon viiiirgin mother and child, hooooly infant so tender and mild. Sleeeep in heaaavenly peace, sleep in heaveeenly peeeeace. Everyone was quiet. Khyna and Raquans mouths were open, but they didn't say a word. My mom just started clapping and that's when Khyna spoke. "Kendrick, my God!  You have a gift. You need to tell people! That was so amazing. " Raquan agreed " Yeaa bro, that was incredible. You better than Chris Brown!!! (laughs) I know some people with free studio time. Write a fucking song! -excuse me, I mean , write a song and get in there! " I was sooo happy. What do think grandma? No reply. My eyes went from the unplugged machine to her mouth. Blood poured out. MOMMA!!! Somebody help grandma pearlie! I slammed down on the emergency button, the nurses flying down the hall, but it seemed like they were moving in slow motion!  Everything was becoming a blur. My Mom screamed, but nurses restrained her.Raquan and Khyna both stood next to Me, holding me back while the nurses tended to my grams. The nurse shouted, " She has been dying for over several minutes. Who unplugged the heart moniter?" Nobody replied. Khyna murmered, "I saw her. She unplugged it while you were singing, but I promise I didn't know. I thought she knew what she was doing! " The nurse cut in, " She did. She was dying and she didn't want anybody to stop her. She didn't want you to know. " They pronounces her dead that day. I cried, my mom cried, even Raquan and Khyna cried . That day, I just sat in the hospital til being escorted out. My mom had to stay to do the death certificate, but told me to leave. Khyna offered me a ride home, so I got in the car with her brother and her. The ride consisted of sniffles and hard breathing until Khyna had the guts to speak. " Kendrick, I'm so sorry. I didn't even expect that to happen. I feel so terrible. I should've said something when she was unplugging that machine. " No.- It wasn't your fault. She was going anyways. It was just wicked how she told me to sing before she died right there. I really didn't want nobody to know or I'd be considered a punk. Silent night was her favorite fucking song. Why she had to die like that? Khyna sighed, " Kendrick Please. I know you're feeling shitty. But she knew what she was doing . You really have a gift that you have to expose. You may not think anything of it, but it's true. Please here me out. You have to. I know you don't want to do anything but lay down and die, but the party tonight can be for your grams. We can pay admission and everything to help pay for her funeral costs!  Also, we have open mic. Maybe you can sing a little, entertain and get your voice heard. We can pass a bucket during to get more funds. How does that sound? " Raquan agreed." Yeah, everyone who is anyone is gonna be there. You should do it." They were right. I had to let go of my selfishness and do this. Do it for grandma pearlie, for my mom, my dad. Do it for me. I'll do it. I dapped Ra Off and hugged Khyna. When I got home, I waved them goodbye and went upstairs. I sat in my room, wanting to cry but stopped when I saw a balled up piece of paper. It was the hook to a song I wrote in prison. I got an idea. I found a pencil started to finish the song. I was going to perform it tonight in front of hundreds of people. Live.