Last To Know

26

I sat on the step of my front porch watching a plane fly overhead. I wondered, yet again, if Maddox was on that plane. Flying to L.A. to live his dreams, while I stayed behind and tormented myself with the decisions I had made.

After the guys showed up I expected Maddox to come by again.

He didn't.

Nor did he come the next day.

Or the next.

And today I knew he was leaving for L.A.

I didn't go to him. That thought broke my already splintered heart.

I didn't go to him, because I'm a selfish grudge holder.

I just let him leave.

I wanted to believe our love for each other was strong enough to weather any storm, but this was one of our own making. He'd lied. And I couldn't seem to forgive. But oh my God, I missed him more than I ever thought it was possible to miss someone. I felt like I was suffocating in his absence, like the air was slowly being sucked from my body.

I hadn't had this kind of reaction when my dad left.

The answer seemed obvious enough.

Go to him.

But he was gone now.

It was too late.

I'd let things go too far and now it was out of my control.

True, I could pick up my phone and call him, but after a whole week of this that didn't seem like enough.

Besides, there was a small voice in my head telling me he deserved more than me. A model. Or an actress. Not a girl who immersed herself in books and classical music. I was nobody and he deserved a somebody.

But he wants you. Another voice spoke up. I wanted to believe that voice so badly, but it was hard. We were so young, and Maddox was famous—I choked on the word—and therefore the odds were stacked highly against us.

Some things are worth taking a chance.

Was Maddox worth it?

Yes.

He definitely was.

Oh God.

A cry tore out of my throat and I ran into the house before one of the neighbors thought an animal was dying—because that's exactly what I sounded like.

"Emmie?" My mom called from the kitchen as I ran back to my bedroom. I heard her feet thumping against the floor as she hurried after me.

I collapsed onto my bed facedown, sobbing hysterically. "What have I done?" I mumbled, but it probably came out sounding like whathabidub because my mom responded with, "What was that?"

I rolled over and looked at her with my tear-streaked face. "What have I done?" I choked. "I threw away one of the best things to ever happen to me all because I was angry," I cried, my lower lip shaking, "I feel like dad."

"Oh honey," she took me into her arms, "you're nothing like your dad."

"I abandoned Maddox," I muttered.

She kissed the top of my head. "You didn't abandon him. You were upset and hurt, so you did the only thing you knew you cold do to protect yourself and that was to walk away. There's nothing wrong with that."