The Criminal's Eyes - Daniel Howell

Chapter 20

In that moment everything stands still and I find myself in a paralysis, I can't move, I've been plunged too far into my subconcious to even breathe. The  sound of the gunshot ringing in my ears, it's as if every thought and memory I've had with and of Dan is racing through my mind all at once. He's my sanity, my hope, my one shot at believing something better is waiting for me. That a name doesn't define who you are. He breathes life into me.

Without Dan who the hell was I? A templated girl, always filling out the mould I had to, always standing by while people lived their life the way they wanted and I just did what I was told. A black and white life following a black and white script. And yet, Dan waltzed into my life and began to blot the pages with different colours, tampering with the shades and tones and making me feel something for once. Helping me see in colour.  A hurricane of trouble that blinded me with dazzling looks and forehead kisses and words that began to deteriorate the ideology I had that there was no-one out there for me... I can't lose that. He is my whole definition of the word 'love'.

My thoughts suddenly hurtle back to reality and I know I need to go back. He told me not to but I honestly don't care. If he dies, I die with him.

I turn back around from the lights and the hope of the city we were so close to, the stability we had almost achieved, and crawl back under the greenery through the brambles, bequeathing me with more scratches; my skin has become so numb I barely feel it - whether from emotional or physical pain I have no idea. I try and remember the route we had taken and the general direction Dan had sprinted off in. Despite being here a mere minute or so ago, my mind has run blank and I can't think straight. I'm drunk off the fear of losing him. Alcohol is more dangerous than people realise, the whole influence intoxicating your body until you're too deep in to realise it isn't going to magically cure you; and yet he is my alcohol, the influence of everything I feel for that boy is intoxicating me, I'm too far deep in to realise I'm probably already too late. Bullets wait for no-one.

The wind intensifies, swaying the trees to the North and giving more leeway to the moonlight, aiding me in recognising the clearing through my now hazy vision. I sprint down to where we split, and can now hear faint groans from behind the huge wall of trees - groans. He must be alive. He has to be. I walk over to the trees rather than running, now concentrating on the sound to see if the men are still there, if I act wrongly in haste it could be over in a matter of seconds. There are no other footsteps or breathing noises apart from Dan's along with the shuffling nouises of his struggles to get his body off of the ground. Assuming it's safe, I slowly approach the source of the noise, and breathe a sigh of relief when i can faintly make out Dan's body shape on the ground and sprint towards where he's struggling. Thank goodness he's not dead.

"Dan! Dan, Dan, Dan, don't worry, it's just me, oh God what happened to you?" I begin to say in a half-whisper, just in case, and his exclamations of pain begin to subside when he realises it's me. "I told you not to leave me, I knew something bad would happen... It must have been a flesh would right?" I ask, and he nods, pointing towards his lower abdomen, where there is a bullet lodged in the side of his hip.

"I- I had a protective, v-vest on underneath an-d i-i-it slowed th-the bullet down, I-I guess," he explains, seeing my confused expression as to how the small metal object hadn't gone straight through him, every syllable that slips from his mouth is laced with pain and it takes every ounce of my humanity to not break down and cry right then and there, I can't bear to see him like this.

"We need to get you to a hospital, Dan, I-"

"No."

"What?" I'm confused. He tries to sit up to speak to me but falls back down with a thud and I can see every bit of agony through his eyes.

"Look, I can't get up at all right now and a stretcher's gonna do no good, it's too much agony and then they'll call my House and my whole family's gonna find out and then it's gonna get to the papers by tomorrow morning - "Son of Howell shot and found with mystery girl.", that's not the first impression I want you to have."

"Who cares about my first impression right now?! You-"

"Please. I can' get up anyway, it'll make it worse."

"So what do you propose we do?"

"Just give me until the morning to stay here. The guards won't come back, they think I'm dead. Then we can call the emergency services discreetly without there being the risk of a leak source and hopefully by then I'll be able to sit up and co-operate a bit better... please, love."

"Okay," I sigh, knowing all he has to do is look at me once and I automatically give in.

"And what do you want to do in the meantime?"

"W... will you sing to me?"

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A/N: Hey guys. I'm sorry for the slow update